physics. lack of sleep. annoyance. love?

Speaking of getting easily agitated when sleeepy...
 
   -> oh my goodness. so in physics... the teachers decided to assign the students to teach the class (in partners or groups) a section of the textbook. today's group decided to do a lab. there were only two stations (lack of equipment). so i was put in a group with all these people... and basically it was like this: 
one girl who was really intense and just kind of took over... lol...... and just ordered people around... while everyone crowded around trying to see, or figure out what we're supposed to do. So this girl... kind of pissed me off because she was so rude to everyone (or maybe i was just extremely sensitive in my lack of sleep state) and basically, i guess she kind of reminds me of me. but like more extreme and i am not like that anymore (i hope). so anyway.... here are some reasons why i was pissed at her:
     - she told people to "move" and basically shoved whoever was in her way.  --> i know you're the only one doing the lab.. but you dont' have to be so rude about it. gees. its just a lab. lol. and its not even worth any marks. or not much anyway. chill out.
     - she kept complaining - > gees woman. just chill out.  (maybe i was too tired to care. lol which is not good. but yeah oh my goodness. all i could hear was her voice!)
     - when people asked her to see the information sheet.. (for some reason there was only one)... she like basically wouldnt let anyone see it.. and she just grabbed it from people who were looking at it when she "needed it". come on. just because you're doing the lab.. (you insisted. and you just... took over lol what can we do gees.. there are only two jobs for 230948320943 people. and you just happened to be one of them --> well more like you forced yourself to be one of them)  doesnt mean you can just take what you want from people.
     - and she wouldnt even explain it to us. all she said was " just write this down" like wtf. how is that learning.

okay so im easily annoyed by her. all the time (not the first time). sighhhh . and i know this isnt an excuse for being annoyed, but i was tired too lol and tired me = angry easily annoyed me. raaah i tried so hard not to yell @ her or like lasdjlskjd ughhhh .

lol it was funny. cauz there were these to fobby guys in my group who were like wtf is going on... ahhhhahahaa. why dont we get to do anything... what are we supposed to do.. why are you just doing everything... lalalala. lol and like when i stopped sulking and being annoyed at that girl, i heard them singing. lol sooo funny. and so cute.  they were harmonizing together some chinese song.  lol just made me happy. haha.... and relieved much of my annoyance.. until i saw her. lol...... sighhhhhh.......

i really need to work on not hating people . i mean, what has she done to me??!!!! (okay nothing directly, but oh my goodnesssss. just watching her makes me want to bleedddddd).

the whole time, i was thinking to myself/praying " oh God............ how do I love her. I don't want to love her. not really. help..........."



one of the reasons why i like to blog is because it serves as an emotional outlet. I can rant all I want, or talk about things that noone cares about. lol . and that's great, because I get it all out, I get to reflect upon what I have written, when I type, I think.... and it helps me to realize things.. and challenges me. I don't bother anyone.. because anyone who's reading this... is reading it because they want to / happened to.. lol sorry if you didnt want to........... lol or if you regret this. ahah...... ... but like say if i were to talk to someone, im sure they'd just be like yeah yeah shut up. lol so yeah =D