Work Integrity //Nerd rant continued...

I guess that’s one of the reasons why  I don’t show anyone my work, or I don’t tell people the answers straight up. I realized that in university, things have changed. These marks actually matter now, and that plagiarism or cheating is something that you could easily be guilty of, whether you knew it or not. that’s why I don’t “help” people the way that they want the help. when someone asks me for help, i look at their solution, what they’ve already tried, and then try and prod them along in the right direction. I remind them of concepts we’ve learned in class, or refer them to chapters in the textbook. I don’t think people should just be spoon fed the answers, and still get their degree. I don’t believe in that. It might seem like I don’t want to help you, which is sometimes true if you only talk to me for help, but in a way it’s protecting myself from loosing out in this stupid competition. I’d be helping you cheat yourself, and the world. is that selfish? i don’t have to help anyone, but if i do choose to help, it’s not going to be giving you the answers straight up. you can’t learn unless you figure it out yourself. do it yourself. 

sometimes following my own rules can be very stressful. especially when i’m not getting the right answers for my assignments. but school is an investment of time, and the more time i spend trying to figure things out, instead of taking shortcuts and just pretending to know what i’m doing, the more i will understand and hopefully eventually become an engineer. a legit engineer that knows what she’s talking about and doesn’t make giant mistakes that could hurt people. people might try and cheat their way into a degree, but when you get out there, when you have a real job, and a real assignment - you better know what you’re doing, and you better be doing it right. don’t slack off now. if you don’t do it right, then don’t do it at all. maybe you’re in the wrong place.

i probably sound like those people who follow all the rules and have “no fun”. but i don’t care. you don’t have to be my friend. you don’t have to like me. 

too intense

//Angry nerd rant

My “friend” from my class is always asking to see my grades for work that we get back. I mean, it’s my own choice whether or not I want to show you. Stop flashing your 100% in my face, and trying to guess what marks I got. ugh. I can’t believe I have to HIDE from you. Just so I can avoid you seeing my mark. ugh this is stupid. T_T . I guess she wasn’t paying attention when the undergrad chair was saying that our marks were private, and no one but whoever did the work had permission to see it - legally. fricken leave me alone. stop asking. stop trying to compare so that you know you’re better than me. I don’t care how you’re doing. Why would I give you a reason to put me down and I don’t want to know your mark - because as stupid as it is, it does make me feel stupid knowing that I did a whole lot worse than you. so just let it go if I tell you that I don’t want to show you. Stop trying to guess and say stupid things like, “Oh, I guess you didn’t get perfect.”. shut up. even if i did get perfect I wouldn’t shove it in your face. 

i guess i should’ve known that university was going to be competitive. everyone has their own little secrets and things they do to try and get ahead. don’t get me wrong, i try and keep ahead as well. I do things when they are assigned; there is no such thing as procrastination anymore (unless it’s for research assignments that i hate doing), there is only free time to do other things after all my work is done. For scheduled times where i know i will be out at fellowship, church, or at small group, i finish my work ahead of time, or plan out when i’m going to do it. I’m trying to stay on top of my tasks, trying to improve my grades, trying not to fail. ugh. i just hate how school now seems like such a big competition. Everybody is a keener, and if you thought you were a keener in high school, well, not anymore. man. these people are crazy. and i’m becoming one of them.

Workaholic

this is what school has turned me into.

a work-obsessed monster.

- thinking about problems while walking to class.

- walking so quickly that i don’t notice anyone that waves at me (so sorry)

- get lost in my trains of thought… and don’t hear people calling my name…

- immediately jump and panic when i realize i forgot to do or add something to an assignment i already submitted (especially if it was ahead of time..)

- doing any easy assignments the day i get them (or online quizzes five minutes after they’ve been announced… oh the wonders of iphone)

- doing more online quizzes on a friday night.. when they don’t need to be completed until two weeks later…

- starting on a practise midterm for programming also on a friday night, when the exam is a week and a half later… 

-  i need to stop. play some guitar. read some Bible, go swimming, make some friends, and sleep.