expired or not?

how can you tell if food is still good, or if it has already gone bad if it has no expiry date?

things to look out for:

- looks: does it have odd bumps and bruises? is mould growing on it?
- smell: does it smell the way it should? is there a slightly sour smell?
- feel: does it feel too squishy where it should be firm?
- taste: give it a lick. how does it taste? if good, proceed to....... take a bite. does it feel the way it should?
- sound: if you shake it, does it slush around when it shouldn't? is it stuck together when it should be liquid?

if you are cooking for yourself, and it passes all these tests,
make it anyway.

if you are cooking for other people, and it passes all the tests,
make sure everything is fully cooked.
then take a small portion from different areas of the pot/pan/plate and eat it.
wait two hours. if you feel fine, then it is safe to serve. =)

thank you!

so today i was waiting for the bus going home. at that bus stop, several different buses will pass by, all venturing into different routes. from experience, i know that my bus has a tendancy to not stop at my bus stop, and just switch into the inner lanes while other buses stop. im not sure why, but probably because they assume noone will get on from that stop anyway, and there's no point in waiting in line behind all these other buses, so they switch out into the fast lane and go. today was one of those times where the bus driver decided to switch out. since i had my eye on the bus, i noticed that it wanted to switch out... and so i decided to walk towards it and get on before it moved away... but while i was walking towards it, it was already jerking into another lane.... when all of a sudden, a man in a ttc driver's uniform jacket started running towards the bus, passing me, going "HEY HEY I WANT YOUUUU!!!" and caught the attention of the bus driver driving my bus. so he stopped, opened the doors, and we both got on. after i got on, i heard the bus driver say to the one actually driving, " so where are we going anyway?" lol. haha. thank you mr bus driver =)

* yes i did thank him =)

Set Fire to the Rain

http://youtu.be/VK4TwstB2AM - adele =) original

http://youtu.be/4tDi23Qs1Sc - cover by Karmin

I let it fall, my heart
And as it fell, you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me
My hands, they were strong, but my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

When laying with you I could stay there
Close my eyes, feel you here forever
You and me together, nothing is better

'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you's play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time

Sometimes I wake up by the door
That heart you caught must be waiting for you
Even now when we're already over
I can't help myself from looking for you

I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touch your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh
Oh, no
Let it burn, oh
Let it burn
Let it burn

Too Lazy to Cook...

but oddly delicious. my sister made me porkkk =) mmmmm delicious. i made eggo and buttered it. then i put some vegies on it. delicious. i wasn't sure if it would turn out good, but i knew i wanted some sort of sandwich..

have a closer look...

didn't need to add any extra sauce, as the pork itself already had enough juice and sauce itself. adding the butter to the eggo made the sweetness of the pork and eggo come out. the vegies were just there for the nutrients. =P



caffinated and.......... still tired.

i didn't sleep much last night. wasn't able to fall asleep =(. i went to bed around 2, and then just as i was almost asleep, my sister decided to pounce on and start talking to me....  she hadn't even showered yet and was still wearing her outside clothes. dirtyyyy! and on my bed!!!!!  yes.. gross.. after she left, my dog decided to sleep with me........on my bed... except she had some trouble climbing up, so she had to try a few times...... moving my bed up and down... as she shifted her weight around. eventually, i fell asleep. believe me, i did not wake up happy. i woke up with just 15 mins to spare, and well...  even though i am usually able to make this time (world record for fastest getting ready man -> probably 5-6 mins), i was too tired to care.

so i was late for class. again... second time out of two this week. and i had a quiz tooo.. haha. so i went in with a pen at the ready, and i did my quiz after moving some desks around first. my teacher forgot that she started giving out detentions lol or maybe she just forgot i was late. so was able to sneak out of class without getting one =) hurray! oh, and no. i didn't have a sub. sigh. but... our work was postponed to next class, on thursday. phew. this is actually better and worse at the same time. it's better because now i have more time to prepare for it. but it's worse because now i have everything to do on thursday. well all the prep on wednesday night, but still....... dahhhhhh

curve sketching

was really easy.............................................................................until the third page. really. why. what is this.  why are they so complicateddddd ahrhhghhakldjkj !!!!

polynomials and cusps are straight up.

i thought horizontal & vertical asymtotes would be too.. except i dont get it.........    these sign charts are so confusing. what is up with all these random square roots.. and squaresssss @_@... !_! looking at the answers, it looks really easy to sketch...... so maybe i'm just doing it wrong =(

boo.. miss my daddy. he's been helping me with math since i was little, and then physics in highschool .. and now calculus. whaaaalaala. i thought this would be an easy unit =( . time to try another question...

Karmin Music

SO GOOD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mn6V-sSkxSQ

http://youtu.be/uZ6L6sC6QTU --> whoaaa

http://youtu.be/khCokQt--l4  --> this girl can rap! what swaggggg.

compared to the original... http://youtu.be/8gyLR4NfMiI  .... wow. lol. i saw their cover first, and then i saw this... and oh my....... D=

http://youtu.be/9cPW4ySRzAY --> this is good too

http://youtu.be/TWZp52D_G1c  --> i loveee how they're so into it. so much enthusiasm!


dahahahaha subscribeeee.

sub sub sub!

i like subs. but only the ones that don't have cold-cut meat and like it's all cold and gross. nooo i don't like cold sandwiches/subs. they just make me feel sick after eating it. sigh. i also can not eat viet subs, because they contain raw parsely, which i am "allergic" to. i swear i'm allergic to almost everything, but some foods have a bigger impact on my digestive system. sigh... this is so sad. i'm asian. and you'd think i'd eat rice every day right? but no..  i cant eat white rice anymore. lol plain white rice anyway. with like dishes on the side. i feel sick after, i have learned to anticipate a sickly feeling in my stomach after eating it. oddly enough, i'm fine when eating mixed rice (white rice with some purple rice + other stuff). I can also eat rice if its fried or in congee..... it's mainly just white rice. i can eat it if its in bibimbap though. which is weird because it's white rice. =( hmm. and it doesn't always set off my insides. so who knows what it really is. lalala.

i also like subs for school, most of the time. there are two types of substitutes.

type 1 - they actually care about following the rules, and what not. they make an impression that they have only retired oh so recently, and therefore will enforce the rules. some of them even go as far as trying to get involved with the class and actually teaching the lesson. although they seem to think that this would be great for the students, they are disappointed when they realize that the real teacher has left stupid instructions that give the teacher absolutely nothing to work with. an "inclass assignment" is usually given out for the students to work on during class, and the sub will probably ask them to hand it in at the end of class - as a ploy to get the students to work, and not talk.

type 2 - they don't care about what you do, or where you go. they're just there for the money/because they have nothing better to do at home D= . they're chill and they just wanna work whenever.

did you know--> supply teachers make a lot of money - more money than a regular teacher does per day?

Oh So Clumsy..

I was doing dishes today, and I accidentally dropped this tiny round bowl that my family has had for about.. as long as I can remember. . . which means pretty much since always. I'm so clumsy =( sigh.. So I scrubbed it, and then I saw this dark outline... I thought it was some nasty grime, even though I only used that bowl to heat up some meat for my doggy. But I wasn't able to scrub it off, so I took a closer look (yes i'm pretty blind) and I realized that the bowl had a crack going all the way around.... it wasn't detatched, no. but there was a crack in the bowl........ mm how do i describe this...... if it was round all the way around, like a globe, then the crack would be along the longitude lines...... so like..... the equator ish. or something parallel to that. =)  yeah i guess the crack either wasn't too deep, or didnt go 100% all the way around the bowl, or i would have ended up with a very shallow bowl + some giant ring shaped thing.... lol. I would post a picture, but my camera's memory is full =( poo. so perhaps later.

and also, I took off my bandage from my finger that I accidentally cut yesterday... and so.. it turns out that the cut was deeper than I had thought... and it partially opened up again.. probably because i'm typing with the finger. lol ops. but yeah D= .  I can feel it stretch.. it kind of feels good, but it looks kinda nasty. hope it heals soon!  i'm glad that none of my flesh came out. now that'd be nasty.

I should have loved you more.

There is so much to learn from Paul, that I almost want to highlight everything. In times like these, I guess it is best to be still and let God speak to me. I know that sometimes I too, am lazy and do not put in the extra effort to show love to others, to let God's love shine through me, so this is something that I must work towards. There are so many people that I come in contact with, every day, and sometimes I'm so caught up in my own pride that I don't give that lonely person a second glance, or I don't even look in their direction. Sometimes I just feel so awkward, not knowing whether to say hi or not, or to just smile, or maybe to talk. I don't know. In my case, I guess I shouldn't really have that problem because I should be able to empathize with them, but how can I, if I don't do anything about it? How is that going to help anyone, how is that going to reach out to them, and how is God supposed to work through me, to do His perfect and pleasing will through me, if I refuse and give petty excuses? Sometimes I don't want to dig deeper and take that extra step to care for someone because I know or I think I know that it will be a hassle, and that it will take a lot out of me. But that's what love is. Love is helping another person find their way to God. Love is what God wants us to have for one another. Love is something that we should never be tired of, or feel like we don't need to give. Love is God's command for us because He has loved us more than we could ever love Him back, and all He really wants in return, is for us to love Him back, and through this, show our love to everyone else, so that they may also come and enjoy God's love for them. Love is something that we owe to Christ, a debt that can never be paid back, and it should be sincere (v9). It's time to stop being lazy, to really "go, live to feed the hungry, stand beside the broken, be filled up by Christ and sent out" like the song God of this City says.

Romans 12
¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

⁴ For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your^[a] faith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; ⁸ if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,^[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

 ⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Romans 13:8-10

 ⁸ Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. ⁹ The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,”^[a] and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^{[b] 10} Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.


As always, a youtube link: http://youtu.be/ZMcJi-GCNgk  - Love, Jaeson Ma

http://youtu.be/d61LamkXfwk - God of this City, Chris Tomlin

Out of Order

My fourth finger is out of order. I can't straighten it, and it has to be kept somewhat bent at all times.

This morning, I was at my friend's house to do a chemistry project. There were three of us, so one of us drew the stuff that needed to be cut out from this foam board, and then I would cut it out, then pass it on to my other friend who would glue it together. During this process, we were eating oatmeal, cut up sausages with ketchup, and hard boiled eggs, while watching a korean drama, Boys Over Flowers. As I finished cutting something out, I passed it to the gluing friend and she remarked, "Why is there blood on this?" My other friend said "It's ketchup..."  But my glue friend insisted that it was blood. Then, I looked down, and I realized that my fingers in the scissor loop thing was also covered with a sticky red substance, that I thought was ketchup. I said, "There's some ketchup on me too... but I didnt have any sausages... maybe you accidentally put some ketchup on the scissors and then passed it on to me!" Then my friend said, "No, that's your blood." I didn't believe her, "No... I'm not hurting.." and then I removed the scissors from my hand and I saw a diagonal slash right across the top part of my fourth finger. Then I realized that I probably cut myself, and then I remembered the slight pain I felt earlier, when my fingers were pressing against the blade... but I had taken no notice of it because it wasn't really hurting.. I thought it was just the uncomfortable scissors digging into me... but apparantly the scissors were just really sharp.. You can usually feel pain if it's something dull that has cut into you, and not something sharp. So I went to wash and bandage my finger, and I tried not to think about the pain... but then i started to feel it. Sigh. Pain is psychological. I'm telling you. If I had never known that I was bleeding and seen the cut, I wouldn't have felt the pain until I moved my finger into another position in which the cut would open and stretch further. Pain is also a defense mechanism, and it is very useful in alerting the body that there is something wrong. If we were not able to feel pain, then we would bleed to death, or die without knowing why. We wouldn't be able to prevent infections, or save ourselves from death. Doesn't this just reflect how perfect and beautiful God's creations are?

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. - Genesis 1:31 (after the first 6 days of creation)



typing this took forever....... without my fourth finger.. raaah.heal soon pls.

If You Want Me To

http://youtu.be/QtNzOpKvPfw - Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to


You can reach her official website here: http://www.ginnyowens.com/ she has some pretty awesome songs.

I've had this song in my playlist for so many years... since we still had windows 2000. yes. that oldd.

Summer planss already.

So I found out that I got into explore, the french bursary program where I go to a university in Canada to study french, with a bursary of 2000 that covers the tuition fees, meal plans, and living expenses. At completion of the program, I may be offered a job there, while staying at the university. Any expenses after the 5 weeks of the non-job part of the program will not be covered by the bursary (since it will be gone), so i'll have to pay for it from my income. sighh at first i didnt wanna stay there for the job after, since my whole summer would be gone then, 8 weeks total. then it'd be rushed to move into uni and get all that other uni stuff sorted out... =(   i also wanted to spend more time with people in toronto, my last summer here... for a while. sighh.. and i'm going to miss the band too.. sigh. maybe i'll be able to come back often if i go to mcmaster. =) . idk if waterloo is gonna accept me anyway lol. oh well. i think i'm already planning everything around me going to mcmaster. .. and the band is thinking of going to paris sometime this summer, and i really want to go, + i'm the only one who is french-capable LOL so i think they'd want me to be there too =) .

you make, all things, work together for my good

Your Love Never Fails - Jesus Culture =)  <3 that song. i'll post the link at the end of this post.


I haven't had time to blog about what happened on Saturday - lots.

it started terribly. sometime at night, after 12am... my dog decided that it would be a great idea to climb onto my bed and sleep with me. so i let her, and being the loving person i am, i wanted to sleep while hugging her, so i grabbed her and then just like hugged her sleeping. lol but she struggled and didn't want to sleep with me =(  so she squirmed out of my grasp and scratched my face in the process.... lol.... then i got up, & went to the washroom to check it out. it was a pretty big scratch, in terms of length, starting from a little to the side of my mouth to my neck.... and it wasn't bleeding profusely, no. just clogging at the seam. i got some polysporin from my parent's room and put some on.. then i had to use three giant sized bandages to cover it to prevent myself from touching it, or my dog licking it. i was too tired to worry about this, because i was going to be filming an interview later that day... lol and now i have a scratch...

then the next morning, i woke up and before anyone saw, i peeled off the bandages and checked out the  cut - not too bad, but just really visible still. my dad was bugging me to quickly get downstairs and have breakfast, as he needed to drive me to my friend's house to do a group project... when i came down , he saw the scratch... and he just asked me what happened, and seemed genuinely concerned. 

went to friend's house... worked on project... got picked up by parents.... went to eat dimsum...

and this is where it gets worse.......... my dad drops my mom and i off to get seats at the restaurant first... and my mom notices my healing scar.. she asked me what happened, and i told her.. and then she got really pissed off at me.. and started yelling at me - inside the restaurant. about how i was going on tv and i had to choose this day to get marked up on my face. i guess she could have been concerned for my well being.. lol in some hidden way. but her tone was so hostile, and she was so loud, the people in the tables beside us were staring...... and then i was trying so hard to keep calm, and not lash out at her in profanity or rude words. she made me sit really close next to her, and she kept spitting at me, and in my food.. and i was so disturbed (because im a germophobe already) and i felt so trampled on.. that i really wanted to move away. so i did.. i moved slightly away and she got even more incensed.. and made me move back. so i did.. and then i didnt want to eat because i was so grossed out.. so i just waited for my dad to come.. the wait wasn't too long, but it was enough to cause damage. like. i dont know what to think of her. i want to think positively of my own mother, but why does it seem so hard? why doesn't she understand? why. doesn't she understand that i didnt want for my face to get scratched up? did she think i tried to get my dog to scratch me the day before filming? really? is she that obsessed with "face", that she doesnt even care to ask me if it hurt, or to get me ointment or something. or any question of concern. nothing. all she wanted, was for her dream to be realized through me. she always talked about how she wanted to see me in the newspapers one day, so she could brag about it to her friends. what if i was in the news because i died a horrible accident? would she brag then? so what if i got a bit scratched? why does my appearance matter? of all people, she should understand that as christians we're not supposed to care about what this messed up world thinks of us, especially since what we stand for is against so many people. why is she so caught up in face? our appearances mean nothing to us. in a few years, we'll all look old and ugly. but life goes on. this is not important. and it was an accident. so obviously, i didnt mean for it to happen, and well what ever happens happens right? deal with it. we can't go back in time to fix it. so why did she have to make me feel unworthy of her love? she never cared about my appearance. why does she care now, that i'm going to be on tv?? huh? is it because now, she can't boast to her friends? because they'll see how messed up my face is? it's not even that bad. but still. why does she care so much. it pains me. i want to know that she loves me. i want to know that she does care about me, somewhere deep down. i want to believe it when she tells me that she loves me. i want to be able to tell her i love her back without feeling forced, or like a fake. ughhhhhhhhhas.dsajdslkdja.kdsjdskldjskd. im fighting, im fighting. im fighting satan's temptation to just give in and break down. to just crumble and let her words pierce me. to fall into pieces that noone loves me. ughr.sakdjsalkdj get out..... it doesnt help, and wont change anything if i do. and plus, i have God - and He loves me more than anyone. and He will help me to get through this....... even if it will take a long time.

trying too hard

why does it feel so fake the  more i try to repress my anger and hold back my resentfulness towards you? i know i cant lash out and yell at you in frustration & out of streess and unfairness. but why does it feeeeeeeeeel so fake. why do i make myself act so timid and nice to you? even when im most angry and on the verge of bursting.

also - i cant find my shoes. i only have 2 pairs lol........ so.......... where is my second pair?...............

trying to prep for interview......cant find half my clothes or my shoes.

why do you always tell me to prepare things in advance, or pack things the night before so i wont miss anything in the morning/dont have to rush - and so that while im lying down for bed, i can get up and pack whaatever i might suddenly reemember...before sleeping.

sounds like a good idea right.

so why is it that, when i try to take your advice and actually do it; why do you get mad at me and not let me? it was your great idea remember? you told me to do it. so why are you getting mad? T_T

sigh such a little thing can so easily briing up all this negativity. i neeed to control myself................ and chill out. stop bringing up the past...........

need to go shopping!

ahhhhhhh. the interview is in two days! ahh! and I don't have anything nice to wearr........ ahhhghh........

and i'm so nervous... lol my chinese is sooo bad....... i hope they dont laugh at me. i've been watching their previous shows and stuff trying to see how formal it is, and like the setting etc... it's pretty chill.. but like people who come to get interviewed are dressed pretty nicely.. lol unlike me... dahahaa....... time to find some clothes.... or go shopping! i should have done this earlier but i totally didnt think about it until now. dahgh.


eeeeeeeeeeeeek! i hope it'll be okay lol its like a half hour long show.. lol but my friend's gonna be singing.. so hopefully that'll take up some time.. and + theres like 3 other people with me (including the singer friend).. so maybe it'll be like 5 ish mins for me lol phew i wont have to talk too much i hope... hehehee...... ahhh

1.1 Molecular bonding and shapes

here we go. i'm going to put my chem and physics notes here. lol. just for fun..
i love the new unit we're doing in physics - Fields, because it uses all the equations and problem solving stuff that you need to know from pretty much the whole year! so it's sort of like a review lol while learning something new.. that's good news for my exam studying, it'll be easier - only if i understand it tho =) & apply the concepts properly, and dont make algebraic mistakes! rawr! they always get me.

anyway, back to september.. here we go.. time machine... beeep.!

These notes are taken from my Gr 12 Chemistry McGrawhill textbook.

An Organic Compound is a compound that is Carbon based, usually contatining C-C and C-H bonds.

The Carbon Atom can form 4 bonds each, all covalent. They can form strong single, double, or triple bonds with other Carbons.

Saturated Molecules only contain single bonds. This means that the Carbon atom is bonded to four other bonds, which makes it saturated, because it can not bond with any more atoms.

Unsaturated Molecules contain double, or triple bonds. This means that the Carbon atom is bonded to three or less bonds, which is not the maximum capacity of atoms it can bond with, therefore being unsaturated.

Electronegativity is a measure of how strongly an atom attracts electrons in a chemical bond.


Bond Dipole: a partial negative and positive charge separated by the length of the bond.
- every polar bond has a bond dipole

- A molecule is polar when the molecule has an overall imbalance of charge.

How to determine Polarity:

Polar:  option A - has only one polar bond
option B - has more than one polar bond, but they are placed in positions (specific angles) such that they are not directly opposite from one another, and therefore do not counteract each other.

Non Polar: Option A - has no polar bonds
option B - has more than one polar bond, but they are placed directly opposite from one another, in such a way that they counteract and cancel out.

Shapes: We will only look at four shapes today, but there are lots and lots more T_T in later chapters...

Format: Name - angle, example

Tetrahedral - 109.5 angles, Carbon with 4 single H bonds.

Trigonal Planar (meaning on one plane) - 120, Carbon - Oxygen double bond, and 2 H bonds

Linear - 180, Carbon - Hydrogen double bonds, one on each side of the C atom.

Bent/Angular - 104.5, water, Oxygen atom with two H atoms 104.5 degrees apart, with two lone pairs.


Molecular Formula - gives the total # of atoms in the molecule
Structural Formula - shows # of and types of bonds in their arrangement
Condensed Formula - gives the atoms in the order of which they are attached

Is It Too Late?

To realize that I can boost up my average? But the marks went in yesterday...and when will they see updated marks? Would it be after final exams? That would be too late. June 2nd is the deadline to respong to university acceptances. I still haven't heard from Waterloo. lol but the sad thing is, I realized.. that it's not that bad. It's not that hard to just spend two to three weeknights off the computer, away from distractions, and actually pull out physics, chemistry, or calculus homework to do. It's not that bad. I actually kind of enjoy doing this. The only problem is that I've cornered myself into believing that I can not work at home, and that the only places I can work at are coffee shops during the day, the mandarin chapel's desk/computer that i've sort of treated as my own office on Friday evenings, or in my tech class with the computer during school.

When I think about it. I should have been more productive during.... Feburary and March, where my grades started slipping and I just sort of gave up. I would still do my best to cram before a test, but I would only do my projects and assignments the day before. Sigh... Every time we start a new chapter, a new unit, or a new assignment, I always tell myself  that this is another chance to start fresh, to complete my homework daily, and to stay caught up and understand everything before I go to class, to ask questions, and to even seek the teacher after school or at lunch for extra help.

I still ask questions in class regarding homework. I still try my best to stay awake and pay attention. But I keep giving in, every now and then, to just resting my head on my arms, or just daze off into my own little thoughts. I have to keep focused. Even if it's too late for loo to see my marks go up (hopefully), at least i'll be able to get a higher scholarship @ mcmaster. besides, maybe i'll get into loo for another program.

Anyway, I've stopped worrying. I'm not saying that I don't care about getting into loo, i'm just going to really try hard for these last two and a half months to stay focused, on task, and understand everything. I know what I'm doing for calculus - I just need to stop making stupid mistakes with things that are so basic, like algebra, for physics and chemistry, it's all about the understanding, and applying. For physics, I dont even have to memorize the equations. I just have to do the practise problems, and UNDERSTAND everything. I  need to link everything together. for all my courses. When I find a link, then it'll stay in my brain and I won't forget it. I think my memory is like a harddrive with a limited capacity of one chapter/unit per subject at one time. I need to stop thinking that way, and hold on to my memory. I have to hold them back, and not let them slip away, as I am so tempted to just do... and it comes so naturally... sigh. connect the pieces. i have two and a half months to study my butt off for these exams, and there's only 3 of them i really have to work for. Just need to focus. and stop procrastinating. 

Productivity Optimization

Okay. so. I don't have too much work to do for the rest of this week. Good. Phew. okay. time to catch up. on everything.

It is now 5pm. and I just got home from school. I got my calc test back today, ehh didn't do as well as i wanted (no where close, actually) but then i didn't expect to pass either, which i did lol. so that's great. compared to the class avg that's really good. but like it doesnt matter how other people are doing. ugh. my marks need to go up. my english mark went up by 2%. and my french mark.. lol hopefully will go up after this essay/oral exam. i had my oral exam today and it was pretty easy, at least, i thought it was.. so that's good. so i calculated, that to get a high 80 average, which waterloo requires, i just need to pull up my marks in each course by like two to five percent. =) . hopefully i can do that. i can do this. i can do this. i can do well on 7 consecutive exams and also 7 culminating projects. go me go. i can do this. i need to start studying for my exams like NOW. LOL. that's so funny. i'm never going to be able to study everything. i gotta organize it somehow. somehow. and soon too, while i sort of have free time. can you call it free time when there's still work to be done? i dont know. i better make a schedule and stop rambling about stuff that isn't going to help me and just take up more time. now. i mean it. now. now. right. now.

Time to make a plan. should i post it here? lol. maybe not. then i wont be able to print it hahahaa......... i shall make an excel or word document or something and then check off each section i'm good with. hmm make "cheat sheets" that i wish i can bring into the exam. mmm. and like critical notes. also equations and formulas etc. must memorize. and relearn things that don't overlap. it would also help if the teachers could give out  like some sort of study guide from what we've done so far. you know, september seems like it was 10 years ago. and that''s more than half of my life span.  so yeah. sigh. what to do... i'm rambling and wasting time again. go to word. go excel. ahhghhhg!

John Legend

dahh how i love his voice.
I loved his voice too, in this other song, Save Room.. lol but when i looked up the lyrics.. and saw the video.. i was like D= this is inappropriate =( way to ruin it. lol.sigh boo. it's jazzy! lol
(8) save room for my love, save room for a moment to be with me, save a little. save a little for me, won't you save a little. (8)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJgxJ6JrPkc - Wake Up Everybody, John Legend

Wake up everybody
No more sleepin' in bed
No more backward thinkin'
Time for thinkin' ahead

The world has changed
So very much
From what it used to be
There is so much hatred
War and poverty, whoa, oh

Wake up, all the teachers
Time to teach a new way
Maybe then they'll listen
To what'cha have to say

'Cause they're the ones who's coming up
And the world is in their hands
When you teach the children
Teach 'em the very best you can

The world won't get no better
If we just let it be, na, na, na
The world won't get no better
We gotta change it, yeah
Just you and me

Wake up, all the doctors
Make the old people well
They're the ones who suffer
And who catch all the hell

But they don't have so very long
Before the Judgment Day
So wont'cha make them happy
Before they pass away

Wake up, all the builders
Time to build a new land
I know we can do it
If we all lend a hand

The only thing we have to do
Is put it in our mind
Surely things will work out
They do it every time

The world won't get no better
If we just let it be, na, na, na
The world won't get no better
We gotta change it, yeah
Just you and me

It's the god hour
The morning I wake up
Just for the breath of life I thank my maker
My mom say I come from hustlers and shakers
My mom built it on skyscrapers and acres
He said take us back to where we belong
I try to write a song
As sweet as these arms the one the type to bare arms
And wear my heart on my sleeve
Even when I fell in God I believe
Read the days that weave through the maze
The seasons so amazing
Feed them and raised them
Seasons are aging
Earthquakes, wars, and rumors
I want us to get by but
We're more than consumers
We more than shooters, more than looters
Created in this image so God live through us
And even in this generation, living through computers
Only love love love can reboot you

Wake up, everybody
Wake up, everybody
Need a little help, y'all
Yes I do, need a little help

Need a little help, y'all ay
Wake up everybody
Wake up everybody
Wake up everybody

get back on track.....

today when i was in the office, there was a herd of students crowding around inside, and i was wondering why. it turned out that they were being suspended. i almost believed, for a second, that it was because they didnt go to school on time. I saw this stapled booklet with the title "suspension from attendance at school" and i thought it was suspension, because of attendance. lol but yeah phew... it was just because they didnt have all their immunization shots...... so i could have totally been in a crowded germ infested room... with people who may or may not have the sicknesses that they didnt get their shots for, but luckily i did.  still, it doesnt make me feel comfortable knowing that i'm being exposed to germs! they probably didnt have the illnesses that they needed to get shots for, but you know...it doesnt hurt to be cautious.

anyway. that reminded me that i told myself to wake up earlier this week.. and eat delicious breakfast. lol. but i forgot. again. and my eyebags. are really deep. so i cant just sleep earlier and wake up earlier. no. i have to sleep earlier and wake up late as usual.

go away eyebags.

i have so much homework to do it's not even funny.
i have so much catching up to do it's not even funny.
i have so much crap to do tomorrow that it's not even funny.
i have so much crap to do in general, that the thought of not doing any of it is really funny.


today: i had a calc test. and then that was it. i couldnt even focus much in physics. sigh. my brain hurts.....

tomorrow: act 1/2 shakespeare quiz, french oral exam (needs preparation for like 20 topics.. i did 1), french essay due tomorrow (i'm still writing the rough copy).....

and i just woke up from an angry nap (couldn't really fall asleep, in my extremely tired state. "woke up" groggy and with a headache, just feeling plain uncomfortable), and had some dinner..... and made some tea... which will hopefully wake me up....mayybe its because room doesnt have adequate lighting? i have two lamps, but i only use one at a time. i dont have fluorescent lights on my ceiling. or any hanging lights either lol..... yay for ghetto..........

i need to learn chinese...

so i'm chinese.

i've taken both mandarin and cantonese classes since i was little, all the way up to level (grade) 8. after that i stopped.

i think i need to learn chinese again.

either that, or i need to hang out with some serious fobs.

our band is being interviewed by fairchild tv, and today i was asked to call them for a phone interview... to talk about the play, my role in the play, my role in band, my thoughts on the production, etc......

so i called the lady today, and she was very nice about my lack of chinese.. lol and it was a very amusing (yet a bit frustrating) conversation i think, for the both of us because of my terrible chinese....... i am so nervous for saturday, where they're going to interview us.. in person... lol ahhhgh. but at least i'll be with everyone else... =D

tell me why?

ain't nothin' but a mistake..... (backstreet boys)


why do I have cuts and pen marks all over my arms?