The Current State of All Things Unhappy

Today just wasn't a good day. I'm not even so sure what a "good day" is supposed to be like, but I am sure that it was not a good day relative to what I think a good day should be like. It's not like something bad happened to me either. It just wasn't a good day. Do you get those days where you just feel all the unhappy emotions and all these negative thoughts run through your mind? It starts with anger. Being upset at some petty little thing that happened some time in the past. Then you think about it some more, and you get frustrated that you're even thinking about this petty little thing. But you can't let go of it. The day goes by, and you start to feel like there is nothing to do and that currently there is nothing you can do to get yourself out of that feeling. Then you wonder why you are doing what you are doing at that moment. You wonder why you aren't out there doing something else. Something crazy, something cool, something that can benefit a lot of people. Then you start to feel a little alone because there is no one for you to share your thoughts with. Not that nobody is around, it's just that you don't think anyone would care to hear any of these things and that perhaps telling them these things would only cause them to become upset at their own situation too. So that's not a good idea either. Then you wonder why we want to do those things. Why do we want to be doing something crazy, or cool? Why do we want to benefit a lot of people?

Then I realized. We are living in a world where everyone is rotten to the core. I used to believe that everyone was good at the core, but now I know that we are all bad at the core. We are all sinners, filled with evil desires, pretending to be "good" people with "morals" when we follow the laws laid out by the people who somehow seem to be better than us. But in all reality, if our thoughts were not hidden as they are, and if nobody was ever physically alone - we would realize that everything about ourselves is just plain wrong.

And what of it?

We live in a world where everything is messed up. Why? Because we are living a life of punishment. So perhaps we are trying to do things that benefit a  lot of people to make this punishment more bearable.

Whoa. Hold on. Have I gone crazy? But let me think this out. Because Adam and Eve sinned when they were living in the Garden of Eden with God, they were punished - Adam had to work the ground for food, and Eve had to experience the most pain through child bearing.

We still have to work for food. We will have to give birth to reproduce. So far, it seems we are still enduring our punishments.

So why do we feel unhappy? Perhaps this is because we are being punished. What child likes to be sent to their room, or sent to the corner, or be grounded? What child likes to be spanked by their parents after acting out of disobedience?

So perhaps I can justify my state of unhappiness by saying that this is how I ought to feel. Someone who touches fire ought to feel hot. Someone who gets injured ought to feel pain. So perhaps I am doing just fine, when I feel unhappy living in a state of punishment.

In this world we live in, it seems like we can't have any of the good things without the bad.
We can't admire beauty without feeling envious.
We can't be satisfied with our achievements without pride, or boasting.
We can't be the best without looking down on someone else.
We can't give without taking.
We can't be free without fear of captivity.
We can't trust without doubting.
We can't walk around in the dark without the fear of getting mugged or violated.
We can't love without expecting it to be reciprocated.

So what then? Are we doomed? What about the "secret to being content in any and every situation" as Paul seems to have discovered, and as I am trying to live my life? Perhaps not. Although we are living in punishment, we have hope. Perhaps this is what Jesus is all about. He came to this world that is full of suffering, and died so that we can one day return to God just like we were meant to be. He is the hope we have in the midst of all this suffering and punishing.

So if God loves us, why did he let this happen? Why doesn't He just make us obedient and make us love Him, if that is what He wants? This has been a question that has plagued the minds of many, including my own. God claims to love us, but you know, love is not love if not given freely. So perhaps that is why we are here. God loved Adam and Eve. God let them be free to do as they pleased, even though He gave them rules. He did not force them to behave, nor did He force them to love Him. In doing so, Adam and Eve freely chose to disobey, and as a result - they received punishment, and we are the ones currently living out this punishment. So yes, God does love us. And yes, we do have free will. But no, we can not be all things happy because we are suffering. But yes, there is hope, and there is an end. The end of suffering starts with the hope given to us by Jesus Christ. 

Blessed Beyond Compare

There is no feeling greater than knowing that you are loved by the one who created you. God, although he has many children (us) takes the time to know each and every one of us. He makes sure that we all have the best futures ahead of us, and he knows what we need at all times. I am saying this because as I reflect on the past few yeas that I have been living away from home, God has shown me how much he loves me through the community of other believers I have met here. I know full well that God's love flows through them when they do everything they can for me, help me when I am in need, know what to say to comfort or to teach me. I really am blessed beyond compare. God's love is so great that there is no need to compare myself with others. There is no need for me to feel insecure about who I am because the great I am has already given everything for me.

You Do All Things Well - Chris Tomlin

Live Freely

We people who live in the Western society are very blessed. We are allowed to freely express our thoughts and opinions as we please. But what has become interesting is that many of us don't. We confine ourselves to being what other people tell us we should be like, and thus are controlled and limited in that way.

This is an interesting thought as I've realized that this is true for me. I care a lot about what people think about me, about my relationship with them, and because of this, I sometimes compromise what I feel and what I do just to make things seem right. But the ironic thing is that it doesn't even always turn out. I may compromise my own beliefs and still not get the "results" I wanted with the people I compromised my actions/thoughts for.

My hope is that I can learn from this verse, 2 Peter 1:3, which says;

" His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through 

our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness"

To actively live out the fact that God has given me everything I need for a godly life, to live in such a way that I do not conform to the expectations of others, to  please them. But instead, I should only live and go by what would please God.