Knowledge vs Experience

Today I had my midterm review (informal) with my boss and another coworker. We were talking about having technical knowledge and having experience in the field - actually working. Then a while later, when I went to talk to my coworker about a project, my boss showed me this photo and said, "Remember during our meeting we were talking about knowledge and experience? Well, this is you." He then pointed at the left side.

Then he pointed at the right side and said, "And this is (insert name of another coworker)." He is such a funny guy. Anyway, I came home and google-images-ed, "knowledge vs experience" and this was the first photo that came up in the search. Now I'm wondering if he google-images-ed it and printed it out to show me. It was in colour too!!

The Pressure is REal

So after a long struggle between deciding whether or not I actually really want to go on exchange - and not leaving it up to other things and other people to decide for me, things are climbing up. There is a lot of pressure.

I decided to go on exchange - which means doing everything in my capability; to reach every effort I can to be able to go. This doesn't mean I will get to go, but I will definitely not blame myself for not trying hard enough if I don't go.

That being said, I am learning to take control of what happens in my life. I am a very easy going, flexible person. If things change unexpectedly, then I adapt. If I don't have a distinct opinion about whether or not I want to do something, I will leave it up to whatever happens to happen and put in whatever minimal effort I believe to be "good enough". But no, that is not good enough. That is not the way to live my life for Christ.

Revelations 3:15-16 says,
" I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

I need to make a decision. I need to be responsible for whatever happens to me, or I will end up being blown away by the wind, letting it take me places I will regret. I need to either try hard and fail, or try hard and succeed. In both, God is with me, God loves me, and God can redeem me; so why should I live my life in fear of failure? Why should I be like the wicked servant in Matthew 25:14-30? I need to use what God has given me to the best I can, and not play it safe by following whatever happens. I need to try and make things happen. Did Moses give up when Pharaoh refused to let his people go? No, he obeyed God's command to go back time and time again until Pharaoh eventually gave in (Exodus).

So I have decided to want to go on exchange. I have begged my professors to help me out, and I have paid the fees even though I don't know if I will be able to go. I am also banking on the fact that I will pass my exam this April so that I can go. A lot is riding on this: my pride/face, my leisure time, my efforts in preparation, my finances. Aiyayie.

As 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 goes, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus"

I Do Not Have the Capacity to Love

But I am so glad that Jesus does. And that He loves me even though I can not love like He does.

My friend was talking to me the other day about how letting someone know that they have hurt you is love. It is love because you are giving them the chance to acknowledge that they have hurt you and possibly apologize or keep in mind that it is hurtful. In situations where I am hurt by another person, I often find it difficult to let them know how they have hurt me unless it continually happens or it is just intolerable.

So the challenge is this: To not lash back, but to learn, when the time is right, how to love those who have hurt me. This will be my lesson in love.

Prodigal: extravagant in spending, lavishly abundant

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Luke 15:11-32


I was a counselor for the first time at my church youth winter retreat. Through leading a small group with some youth, I reflected and learned a lot myself. This was the theme passage, and we looked into it in three different angles. First (and more commonly understood), the younger son - prodigal with money and his inheritance. He then realizes how unworthy he is of being the son of his father, whom he had left and disrespected (through asking for his inheritance before his father passed). He was lost in temptation and thus saw himself unworthy to be anything but a slave.
Then the older son - self-righteous, with questionable motives for his obedience. Did he stay at home and work for his father out of love? Or just to make himself deserving, and worthy of more than the younger son? His description of himself as a slave to his father shows that he too, does not see  himself as his father's son.
Last, we have the father; the one who has lost both his sons to sin but lovingly goes out to them in hopes of restoring them gracefully to where they belong (with him).

Do you believe that God wants you to be with him? Do you know Jesus? Did you know this parable is actually the gospel message in itself? We are both the younger and older son. God is the father, who sees us as we are - as his sons whom he loves. We have sinned, and turned away from God. But He still longs for and chases after us to restore us to Him. To bring us back, so He can love us.

Sometimes I may feel like I owe a debt to Jesus, to God. Jesus, why did you die for me? I am unworthy of being saved. God, why did you send your Son to die for me? Now I have to work hard, to become someone who is worthy of salvation.
But no, that is not how God sees it. Yes, we are unworthy. But God still loves us and wants us to come back to Him. He loves us just as we are. There is nothing we can do to become worthy. "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." (Mark 2:17)

So how do I know/what makes me believe that God wants me to be with him?
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). He is the prodigal God, prodigal with love. Whether we feel we deserve it or not, God wants us to come home.

If we have been saved, been forgiven through Jesus, why do we need to work towards being like Him? Why not sin more? We are forgiven right?
Yes, we have been saved (from our punishment of eternal death). And through being saved, we experience God's love. What better way to express our gratitude, and reciprocate our love than by obedience to him? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.38 This is the first and greatest commandment." (Matthew 22:37-38) By being loved so much by God, we naturally respond by wanting to please our Saviour through the transformation of our hearts (ie. repenting of our sins).


Man of Sorrows - Hillsong

Chorus:
Oh that rugged cross my salvation
Where Your love poured out over me
Now my soul cries out Hallelujah
Praise and honour unto Thee

Bridge:
Now my debt is paid
It is paid in full
By the precious blood
That my Jesus spilled

Now the curse of sin
Has no hold on me
Whom the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed