I am a Horrible Student

At this point in time, second semester - I should already have steady study habits, and a good attitude towards learning. But it seems like I am not doing a good enough job, or that I don't fully have the right attitude either.

I need to :

- start attending ALL classes and tutorials -> and do my best to follow along, ask questions, and stay awake

- after the lectures end (usually early in the afternoon), I should go to the library and do a REVIEW of what I have learned that day - looking back at the slides, rereading my notes, and going through the examples there. Then I should also attempt to do any assignment questions that apply to what I have learned that day. This should take around an hour or two max.
Hopefully this method will help in keeping a continual understanding of the concepts of each course.

- complete any assignments due two days in advance so I can ask questions/get help if I need it



So my new schedule should look like this:

- wake up @ 8 am
- go to classes/tutorials (eat packed lunch)
- go review the material
- make/eat dinner
- complete assignments
- relax/take a break/shower
- read over slides for next day
- relax/take a break
- sleep


I can still pick up the slack. I can still do well on my courses, as poorly as it may seem I am doing now.
I can still pass this term with at least a 70 average.
How can I give up when I haven't even tried my best???
Like my family friend told me, "Do your best, let God do the rest".


I need to get my priorities straight:
- GOD
- school
- everything else

First and the Last

New song I learned for praise this week: 
http://youtu.be/hVlPoozmyzw

You are the first and the last
Beginning and the end
The promise of wonders to come
The future is in your hands
Caught in the light
With all the earth we will sing

You are the author of love
Our freedom is in your name
Embracing the cross meant for us
And bought us to life again
Caught in the love
With all we are let us sing

God our hope
And our salvation
Worthy of all the praise
Be our light everlasting
Great is your name
Jesus the first and the last

Show us the way of your love
Lead us toward the truth
Stir up the fire in us
To live out this life for you
Caught in your name
Jesus forever we'll sing

Every heart
Every nation will hear the sound
As your light breaks through the darkness
And your name rings out
Every distant horizon will meet as one
Singing holy is your name
We sing holy is your name

- Hillsong

Friends from a distance, or distant friends?

When it has been such a long period of time since you have last spoken or met up with someone who you were once close to, it is both a time filled with joy and sadness - for me anyway.

For me, I see them and I am happy to see that they are doing well, and that they have learned and grown so much since the last time I saw them. But I am also filled with a twinge of sadness because I feel like I am unable to reconnect with them in such a way that leaves both of us feeling satisfied and reaffirmed in our friendship.

I want to share with them about the many changes in my life since that time we said our goodbyes. I want to watch their eyes light up when they tell me of their exciting journeys and adventures they have had. I want to know all about where they are headed now, and how God has been working through them. I want to tell them about what God has also been doing in my life; to share our stories and to grow together. I want to be able to confidently tell myself that we are still friends because of the time we spent catching each other up.

But I couldn't think of a thoughtful, meaningful thing to say when I saw them. It was only for a short period of time, which is why I was reluctant to say too much. Instead, I'm the type of person that will end up doing small talk - which also bugs me because why, why would I do small talk when there was so much more depth to our relationship, so many more meaningful things I could have said? But then I keep thinking to myself that I wouldn't be able to finish catching them up anyway, or I wouldn't have time to let them catch me up either, so what was the point?????  I guess the satisfaction of just being able to see their faces already makes me happier, but then when I leave again, I think back and realize that we barely exchanged any meaningful words, and there was basically no point to our short meeting.

I am the kind of person who needs to meet up, sit down, and talk. I need that one on one, or two on one time with just those people, to be able to fully engage myself in conversation and deep thought. But time is hard to find, especially the more people there are. I just wish that I could have conveyed that I still care and want to become close to them again, despite the physical distance and time barriers.

On the bright side, I did get to spend time with one of my closest friends this time, and I am so glad that the timing worked out. I can only continue to pray for God to look after my friends and then keep waiting for an opportunity to meet up with my dear friends so that we can share in what we've been up to!