My Perspective in Your Shoes

I have come to realize that there are things I will never understand about people. It is easy for me to think that everyone would think and feel as I do, so that's my guide on how I treat others. "Treat others how you want to be treated" was my motto for pretty much all of my life. But the more people I meet, and the more time I spend with other people, the more I realize just how different some people can be. Differences in the way people think and perceive things can really change the way they interpret or behave in different situations.

I wonder to myself during times of conflict what is wrong. Why does the other person feel the way they do? If I put myself in their shoes, I would be fine - so why aren't they? If I put myself in their shoes, this is what I would want me to do to make things right. I am so used to this kind of thinking. Thinking that only revolves around knowing myself. Thinking that requires little effort of actually getting to know the other person. I have approached difficult situations thinking that I am putting myself in their shoes to try and understand them, but really, it is still my perspective. I am just putting myself in their shoes, but it doesn't make me that person. It makes that person me. Does that make sense? By putting myself in their shoes, I am essentially seeing the situation from their perspective - yes, but I am analyzing and processing and interpreting the situation with my own reasoning, thoughts, and feelings.

This is a really difficult concept for me to write out in words. I hope it makes some sense. Essentially what I am trying to say, is that it is impossible to completely see something from another person's point of view. Why? Because everyone has had different life experiences and thus we become different people. I guess that's what makes us all unique. No two people are exactly the same - in physical appearance (even twins have their differences), thought, and by actions. 

So where am I going with this? I think the point I am trying to make is that it my life will never be conflict-free. I will never be able to "please" anyone in every way. I will never fully comprehend the way people think and how they come to interpret the situation. Conflict is usually a misunderstanding between two people - caused by assumptions made and unspoken expectations. People approach situations and process their thoughts differently. Even if the thought process does not make any sense to me, I need to respect the other person. Loving another person is a difficult thing. It does not require me to put myself in their shoes. I can't understand everything about them. Things will not make sense. People don't make sense. I don't make sense. But what love requires is that I respect their thought processes and give them the space to do what they need. I need to understand that different people have different needs. Just because I don't need something doesn't mean it's like that for everyone else. Don't take things personally. Don't assume. Just take mental notes about the other person and learn from experience how to best love them through the next conflict.

Don't get me wrong; I am not saying that we shouldn't try and see things from the other person's perspective. It definitely helps. I am just saying that it is not enough to just do that. I am saying that if you try and still don't understand then just take it as it is. It's like physics. I don't always understand where the equations come from or how they make sense, but I just take them as they are and proceed to solve problems with them. I tend to take things to the extreme, so this post is to remind me that if I fail at understanding the other person, life will still carry on.

TOMORROW

I AM GOING TO THE LIBRARY TOMORROW.

I went to Indigo today after work and I picked up a fiction and I sat there on the floor for a good hour and read. Purely for leisure. It was a horror story, I found out later. But it was so good. Wow. I can't remember the last time I read a book for fun. To relax. To lose my mind in a world not of my own.

I read 60 pages before the store closed. It was a good 60 minutes. So I am going to do it more often. I also have to study for an exam I will probably take early April. I also have my driver's test to do... end of March/early April. Hi-ho! It's off to work I go!

One Sweet Day

I love Boyz II Men. Honestly, if a guy would sing to me like they do....

They did a song together with Mariah Carey, and it's just so beautiful... kind of sad, but beautiful.

One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey ft. Boyz II Men

Lyrics below:

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Darling I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

Although the sun will never shine the same again
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say

Bucket list

So with a new year, people talk about resolutions. For myself, I am still thinking about that. In the meantime, I have a bunch of things I would like to do for this term. I think it would be easier for me to work with shorter periods rather than longer ones.

So here it is:

FOOD
1. Eat pie or cake at Wanda's Pie In The Sky (Kensington Market)
2. Eat at the all day dimsum restaurant; Rol San (Chinatown)
3. Drink at Sneaky Dee's
4. Go for wings at Duff's
5. Form Lounge (Koreatown) - get a snack and 5 beers for $20
6. Eat a patty from Patty King (Kensington Market)
7. Eat at Mr. Jerk (Sherbourne/Wellesley)
8. Eat at Roti Lady (Parkdale)
9. Buy  bread from Cob's Bread
10. Learn how to make peanut noodles the way Mr. Paninos does

BOOKS
1. What's That Sound? by John Covach
2. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
3. Stone Crossings by L.L.Barkat
4. Start Fretboard Freedom by Troy Nelson
5. Keep up with reading the New Testament (1 chapter a day starting Matthew, then John) with my Sunday School class

MUSIC
1. Listen to a good chunk of the music that "What's That Sound?" refers to
2. Go on a listening journey to discover new bands/artists/genres of music
3. Learn to play Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin on guitar
4. Get through 100 days of Fretboard Freedom

OTHER
1. Get my G license
2. Post once a week
3. Take the time to relax and reflect once a week (probably while I post)
4. Meet up with one friend once every two weeks. (I know, I've been a hermit)



Time for some new verses to live by this year!

Last year's verses were:

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 

- Psalm 143:10

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 

- Philippians 4:12

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 

- Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

This year's verses will be:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

- Galatians 5:21-24

I was inspired by this sharing that this guy at my church did this past Sunday. I really admire him as a person, his personality and character. I think he is very wise and I enjoy the way he speaks. He spoke on the passage about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches (John 15:1-4). He said that we are not saved only by believing in our salvation in Christ, but to not be cut off by God, the gardener, we must bear fruit. By "bear fruit", it doesn't solely refer to evangelizing. Sure, evangelizing is a way of bearing fruit in the spiritual sense, but we also need to bear fruit by cultivating the fruits of the Spirit, as listed in Galations 5 above. 

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. 

- 1 John 4:20-21

This verse I just found by going on biblegateway.com and it happened to be the verse of the day.  But I like this verse because it says so bluntly that you can't love God unless you love your brothers and sisters. For this, I will take my brothers and sisters to mean ones I have in Christ, while also doing my best to show love to my non-Christian friends in hopes that they may one day be my brother/sister in Christ. 

What are some things on YOUR bucket list?


Ps. Casting Crowns (one of my favourite Christian bands) is coming out with a new album on Jan 28. You can get a taste here: All You've Ever Wanted

The Unfinished Story of my Life

Preface
This is a post mission sharing letter so that you know what went on with me during my mission trip when you were supporting me financially and/or prayerfully. As I thought about the things that I learned while I was on this trip and the things I did there, the most accurate thing I can talk about is how I was changed by the trip. As I was only there for a really short time, it is hard for me to say if I actually made a difference in someone else's life. Therefore the contents of this letter only briefly touches on the things that I did, what I saw and the people I met there and is more about recollecting my encounters with God and adding it to my testimony. To understand why certain things I experienced during the mission trip affected me the way it did, it may be helpful to look at my testimony where I did my best to piece together the major events and influences that led me to this mission trip. You can read about this in a blog post I wrote prior to the trip.

Not So Coincidental
During the fall of 2012, I was working at my co-op placement and thinking about what I wanted to do in the future. At the end of the term, I had my wisdom teeth taken out and was given a few days to rest. I dreamt about Nehemiah and saw his wine-stained palm and when I awoke from the dream, I heard the name “Nehemiah” call out to me a few times in my head. Confused, I read Nehemiah and reflected upon a sermon about the cup bearer I remember hearing from Ken Taylor (pastor at Creekside Church, Waterloo). I understood this as God telling me I needed to do something for His people. About a week later, I attended Urbana, a global missions conference that was held during the winter break, I wanted to go on a mission trip to experience similar things to what I had heard about. So I put "go on a mission trip" on my mental to-do list, and worried with school and finding a job. One random weekend not too long after school started, I decided I would have the time to go back to my hometown for the weekend. That Sunday at church, one of the ladies that I grew up knowing approached me and asked me if I was interested in going on a short term mission trip for two weeks in July. She briefly summarized the major details and then told me to let her know by March if I was interested or not.   

Not For Hire
Back at school, I was going through interviews to find a co-op placement for the spring term, which runs from the end of April to August. Now during this time, I had one foot on the side of going on that mission trip my church auntie wanted me to join her in, and the rest of me was on the fence. My heart was pretty much set on wanting to go, but I still had uncertainties with finding a job. With the addition of travel time, the trip would take up almost three weeks out of my work term - long enough to turn off potential employers. A popular mindset students have while going through the co-op interview process is to just get a job. Any job. One of the biggest fears of the co-op program is the inability to secure a job and then fail a work term. So you may be able to imagine the dilemma I was left with when somebody I interviewed with told me that I would not be considered if I went on the trip. I was then given a few days to decide if I really was going to go or not. After sharing my predicament with a friend, I felt encouraged and emailed the interviewer telling them that I was thankful for their interest in my application but that I had decided to no longer be considered for the position - I was going to go on the mission trip. 


1 A Path has Been Made
Shortly after I informed that auntie from my church that I would join her mission team, I got confirmation from another employer that they were willing to hire me even though I would be gone for almost 3 weeks. The team would be going to east asia to host an English summer camp at a local church for students in their late teens and early twenties. We would be teaching in pairs so the auntie suggested I ask a family member, as it would be easier to make lesson plans with them while I was out of town. I asked my dad to come with me, and after some prayer and encouragement, he agreed to be my teaching partner. This was great as I trusted him to figure out our visa and travel arrangements while I studied for and wrote my final exams.  

2 Coming as One Body
The team consisted of people that came from all over the world. The team from Canada consisted of the auntie, her husband, my father, and I. The auntie and her husband are part of the Fountainhead Chinese Christian Association, the organization we went with. There were four other university students; 3 from Australia, and 1 from America. We had one professor from Singapore, a translator from Hong Kong, and 6 full time missionaries from the organization. The team met together for the first time at their headquarters in Hong Kong. There we had training and then flew together to our destination. During our time there, we all had our roles to play. We had about 8-10 students and 2-3 teachers in each class. Some of us played musical instruments while others sang and did actions to English songs that we taught the students. We led fun activities and games to play during breaks between the lessons. 

3 Strength that comes in Weakness
After the first few days of camp, the students started inviting us to play with them and offered to show us around the city in the evenings. They were excited to show and tell us things that we were new to, just as we would tell them about what it was like living in the countries we were from. I felt that it was actually easier to bond with the students even though we both had very limited knowledge of the other person’s language. There was this bond that grew from the mutual understanding of how we struggle to learn the other language. We laughed at each other’s attempts when we had bad grammar and offered each other the appropriate words and phrases for things that were communicated through gestures and writing. In addition to this encouraging spirit, it was also amazing to see that even though many of the team members fell sick during our time there, it was impossible to tell because they still led their activities and engaged with the students with the utmost enthusiasm. 

4 He Knows Me
Near the end of the camp, we watched Evan Almighty, and had a discussion about it which was when we had the opportunity to share the gospel with them. We also invited them to join the local church’s student fellowship on the weekend where we shared our testimonies, and many of them came. It was really encouraging to see how God was working in the hearts of these students. Many of them were curious to know more about the gospel and their responses to our testimonies were thoughtful. On the last day of the camp, we gave out certificates for having participated in the camp and they were given the chance to share with the other classes their experience of the camp. To my surprise, one of my students said, “You taught me how to love”. With these words, God spoke directly to my heart - showing me just what He can do when I choose to obey and follow Him. Although I am still uncertain of what God intends for me in my future (and Nehemiah?), I know that listening to the voice of the Good Shepherd will never disappoint. 

Acknowledgements
I am thankful to God for providing me with the family and friends who supported me and the team financially and prayerfully during the whole decision making, planning, and fundraising process. Thank you for being part of my journey and for your encouragements. Thanks for reading!





1 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Aged Moses to Joshua) Deuteronomy 8:31

2 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
1 Corinthians 12:12-14

3 “My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” Psalm 73:26

4 “I am the good shepherd. I know my sheep, and they know me. Just as the Father knows me, I know the Father, and I give up my life for my sheep.” John 10:14-15