Some questions I have always dreaded from peers are, "What do you do at church? Why are you Christian? Why do you believe in God?". This may be surprising to you if you know me, but it is the truth. Although I know that there is a God that exists and that I believe in him, there's just something scary about announcing it or talking about it to people. Perhaps it is the fear that they will judge me. I am afraid that they will see me in a different light - one where they think I am trying to convert them and then they question my motives for being their friend. Essentially, I am afraid of people being afraid of me.
Ever since I left my hometown for university, I have not been part of a small group at church. I have joined the campus fellowship but they are not directly connected to a local church. I would still go to church, but it is such a huge church that I feel that I can get away with just being an attendee and receive. I would not participate in any other programs or groups aside from the Sunday service, and my excuse would be that I don't have a ride. The church is far and in the middle of nowhereish. It is very difficult to bus to and even then, there is quite a way's walk to the nearest bus stop.
So come Ottawa. I followed my sister's friend to another church. I was happy to just be an attendee again and just go there for Sunday service. However, since I wasn't a student and I didn't live close to any of the campuses, I wasn't able to join a campus fellowship. So here I was, stuck without a Christian community - one that I was so used to having. The thing with having a Christian community is that you're just that - a community. You have friends, and all your social needs can be met. Everyone goes to church and understands Christian jargon, so there is no need to feel afraid of judgement. I made a point to live with Christians when I was in university, so there was never anything to explain.
Now in Ottawa, I live with two non-Christians. One of them just came from Iran and I would say that she is probably agnostic, but with some Muslim influence as that is a big part of her culture. The other person I live with had a bad experience growing up in a strict Christian home, where everything was about rules. She told me that she absolutely hated it and resented her family for forcing her to live a certain way.
I didn't mind going to this new church on my own every week. My sister's friend was there, but I didn't want to be in the way of her friendship and make things awkward for her, so I was fine just doing my own thing. However, perhaps she felt obliged to help me out for my sister, and so she welcomed me to join her and her friends to hang out after church and went shopping and got food with me. So that was nice. Her friends encouraged me to go to Grouplink - an event to introduce new people to existing small groups. At first, I was very hesitant. Yes, I wanted to find a community and be able to share and encourage other people, but I wasn't sure if this was the way to do it. I was never really a big fan of being part of a large church as I thought that it was difficult to get to know people anyway. But I went anyway.
It's pretty smart how they organized it. They asked for your address, and then they had a giant map of Ottawa divided in to colour coded chunks. They would find the colour of the chunk where your address was, and from there, you could meet the people who were leading the small groups and choose one that you wanted to join. The beauty of this is that the people in that group would be in your area, so going to small group wouldn't be a problem since everyone is so close. Anyway, I signed up and today was the first one.
Wow. I didn't expect the background to take this long. So basically before I left, one of my housemates came home and was asking me if I was going swimming, as I was packing up. I told her no, and that I was going to small group. She didn't know what that was, so I explained that it was a group of people from big church getting to know each other better. I told her we were doing a study called Love Does, and that I'm not really too sure what we would do but I was going to go find out! She was gave a very open response, and said, "Good for you!". I guess she meant that it was good I was trying new things. So that was that.
I went to the small group and we talked about being with someone, just like how God is with us (Emmanuel). We talked about how sometimes we have friends who are going through rough times and perhaps are about to make or have made a horrible decision. It is hard as a friend to not scold them or try to "fix" them. Sometimes all they need is for you to be there to go through it with them. Really - that's it. It's not about converting people to Christianity and getting all "the Bible says" about something. It's about understanding that people need to go through certain situations to learn things for themselves and there's nothing you can say to them that will make them believe you until they experience it for themselves.
That is exactly what faith is like. It is not something you can force on anyone. It is not something you can tell your friend and then they suddenly decide to believe you and in God. That would probably not be genuine faith. Faith is something every individual has to discover and experience first hand. What Christians can do is to be there for them - to make resources available to them and to live life with them! I used to be afraid of evangelism (telling people that they are saved through Jesus) because I didn't want to be (or be seen as) someone who wanted to "convert" people. I didn't want to seem manipulative, or like I had ulterior motives. So that's why I was so afraid of telling people about Jesus. That's why I was so afraid of the questions, and that's why I would try to dodge the conversation or change the subject every time I felt like it was about to come up. And I felt horrible about it. I felt like I was being an awful Christian because it seemed like I didn't want my friends to be saved. But that is not true. I love my friends and I do want them to live eternally, but I put my fears above their lives while trying to deal with the guilt.
So why am I writing this? Today I had an epiphany. A eureka moment. I came home from my small group and chilled in the kitchen, snacking on some homemade salsa while watching funny video clips of Ellen DeGeneres. Suddenly, my other roommate (the Iranian one) came home. As usual, we asked each other how our days went, which is usually followed by, "So what did you do today?" - the question I then dreaded. My response came, " Um.. I went to work.. then I came home......andwenttosmallgroup". "What? What's that?", she asked. Now, since she just came to Canada, all the English she knew was from literature. So the term "small group" was definitely not part of her slang dictionary yet. So I told her that I go to church on Sundays (avoiding "I am a Christian") and that it's really big so they divide people in to small groups to get to know each other. She then asked me what we did there, and I told her that we... just try to get to know each other and support each other in our lives. Which is true, but also very vague and really not helping me feel less guilty. She looked a little confused, and then asked, "I mean.. What is the purpose of this small group?" And so I said the words that suddenly came to me, "We learn to love people. You know how it's really hard to love people sometimes? Well, at small group we tell each other about our lives and try to support one another in loving the people around us. We learn together how to love people".
SO THAT'S IT! I figured it out! Finally - you would have thought that this was a no-brainer. If you ever went to church, everyone there knows and talks about loving people, how to love people, and that Jesus told us to love one another. But why had I never thought of it so clearly? I have had thoughts where I am telling myself that I need to love people better, but I never put it in the context of sharing this with my friends. I never knew how to relate it (I'm slow, I know) or word it right so that it could be applicable to other people's lives. Maybe I didn't understand it fully myself.
So this is the answer: I go to church to learn to love people.
What about the rules?
The rules in the Bible are there to give people a starting point to let us know what love does and doesn't look like. Do not steal? Do not kill? How do you love someone by doing these things?
What about Jesus? Who is he?
Jesus is the only human to ever live a sinless life - a life full of love for everyone (Matthew 22-25). Jesus spent time healing the sick, casting out demons, and engaged with the poor. He didn't discriminate against the lepers, the outcast, nor the weak. Jesus came to give life and love to people.
So what is a Christian?
A Christian is a human who realizes that he/she is a sinner. A sinner can be described as someone who is not perfect at loving everyone. A Christian is constantly looking to change into a more loving person. Christians want to know God - we want to know more about our creator. We do this by learning to love - 1 John 4:8 says, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." A Christian is someone who wants to be like Jesus, because he knows (and is) God.
Why do we go to church?
Christians realize that they are sinners and want to change. We believe that Jesus was perfect at loving others and we want to learn from him how to do the same. We know that it is impossible to be perfect at loving, but we still want to do our best. So we go to church to learn about how to love together. We believe that one way God speaks to us is through the preacher - who delivers a sermon usually about how we can be better people, better neighbours, etc. based on the Bible. A church also provides a place where like-minded people can gather. It's like chess club; people who want to play chess go to chess club. People who want to learn to more about God go to church.
Why do we need to (or feel like we need to) love others?
The main reason why we want to love other people is because God loved us first. God sent his son, Jesus to earth to teach us how to love.
What the heck?
Because we are incapable of loving perfectly, we killed him. We killed Jesus. By crucifying him - driving nails into his hands and into his feet. We even beat him and mocked him. We didn't know who he was - until he died and the land shook and the curtain in the temple tore. Some people there realized then that he was truly the son of God.
In the Bible, when someone committed a crime or sinned, they would suffer a punishment (Romans 6:23). This punishment is death, because God is perfect, he can not be in the presence of imperfect people. So we would all die and not be able to be with God because we have sin. But God loves us - he loves his creation and wants us to be with him again (recall, Adam and Eve used to live together with God until they sinned by disobeying God and eating the forbidden fruit: Genesis 3).
So basically - we are all technically supposed to be dead and none of us are worthy enough to live with God because we have all sinned in one way or another. However, a good creator would not want his creation to suffer. God wanted us to live eternally with him so he sent a solution - he gave us a way to get out of this predicament. He sent his son Jesus down to save us. Here comes the famous verse: "For God so loved the world, he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him may not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
So that's it. To become a Christian, you start by praying to God; acknowledging that you are a sinful person, that you don't want to be like that anymore, and that you accept that Jesus died on the cross for your sins. (A thank you would probably be appreciated too.)
I don't have all the answers. You can tell by the many years it took me to finally get even this straight. But I would be happy to answer any questions you may have regarding my faith, and if I do not know the answer, maybe we can figure it out together.
Ever since I left my hometown for university, I have not been part of a small group at church. I have joined the campus fellowship but they are not directly connected to a local church. I would still go to church, but it is such a huge church that I feel that I can get away with just being an attendee and receive. I would not participate in any other programs or groups aside from the Sunday service, and my excuse would be that I don't have a ride. The church is far and in the middle of nowhereish. It is very difficult to bus to and even then, there is quite a way's walk to the nearest bus stop.
So come Ottawa. I followed my sister's friend to another church. I was happy to just be an attendee again and just go there for Sunday service. However, since I wasn't a student and I didn't live close to any of the campuses, I wasn't able to join a campus fellowship. So here I was, stuck without a Christian community - one that I was so used to having. The thing with having a Christian community is that you're just that - a community. You have friends, and all your social needs can be met. Everyone goes to church and understands Christian jargon, so there is no need to feel afraid of judgement. I made a point to live with Christians when I was in university, so there was never anything to explain.
Now in Ottawa, I live with two non-Christians. One of them just came from Iran and I would say that she is probably agnostic, but with some Muslim influence as that is a big part of her culture. The other person I live with had a bad experience growing up in a strict Christian home, where everything was about rules. She told me that she absolutely hated it and resented her family for forcing her to live a certain way.
I didn't mind going to this new church on my own every week. My sister's friend was there, but I didn't want to be in the way of her friendship and make things awkward for her, so I was fine just doing my own thing. However, perhaps she felt obliged to help me out for my sister, and so she welcomed me to join her and her friends to hang out after church and went shopping and got food with me. So that was nice. Her friends encouraged me to go to Grouplink - an event to introduce new people to existing small groups. At first, I was very hesitant. Yes, I wanted to find a community and be able to share and encourage other people, but I wasn't sure if this was the way to do it. I was never really a big fan of being part of a large church as I thought that it was difficult to get to know people anyway. But I went anyway.
It's pretty smart how they organized it. They asked for your address, and then they had a giant map of Ottawa divided in to colour coded chunks. They would find the colour of the chunk where your address was, and from there, you could meet the people who were leading the small groups and choose one that you wanted to join. The beauty of this is that the people in that group would be in your area, so going to small group wouldn't be a problem since everyone is so close. Anyway, I signed up and today was the first one.
Wow. I didn't expect the background to take this long. So basically before I left, one of my housemates came home and was asking me if I was going swimming, as I was packing up. I told her no, and that I was going to small group. She didn't know what that was, so I explained that it was a group of people from big church getting to know each other better. I told her we were doing a study called Love Does, and that I'm not really too sure what we would do but I was going to go find out! She was gave a very open response, and said, "Good for you!". I guess she meant that it was good I was trying new things. So that was that.
I went to the small group and we talked about being with someone, just like how God is with us (Emmanuel). We talked about how sometimes we have friends who are going through rough times and perhaps are about to make or have made a horrible decision. It is hard as a friend to not scold them or try to "fix" them. Sometimes all they need is for you to be there to go through it with them. Really - that's it. It's not about converting people to Christianity and getting all "the Bible says" about something. It's about understanding that people need to go through certain situations to learn things for themselves and there's nothing you can say to them that will make them believe you until they experience it for themselves.
That is exactly what faith is like. It is not something you can force on anyone. It is not something you can tell your friend and then they suddenly decide to believe you and in God. That would probably not be genuine faith. Faith is something every individual has to discover and experience first hand. What Christians can do is to be there for them - to make resources available to them and to live life with them! I used to be afraid of evangelism (telling people that they are saved through Jesus) because I didn't want to be (or be seen as) someone who wanted to "convert" people. I didn't want to seem manipulative, or like I had ulterior motives. So that's why I was so afraid of telling people about Jesus. That's why I was so afraid of the questions, and that's why I would try to dodge the conversation or change the subject every time I felt like it was about to come up. And I felt horrible about it. I felt like I was being an awful Christian because it seemed like I didn't want my friends to be saved. But that is not true. I love my friends and I do want them to live eternally, but I put my fears above their lives while trying to deal with the guilt.
So why am I writing this? Today I had an epiphany. A eureka moment. I came home from my small group and chilled in the kitchen, snacking on some homemade salsa while watching funny video clips of Ellen DeGeneres. Suddenly, my other roommate (the Iranian one) came home. As usual, we asked each other how our days went, which is usually followed by, "So what did you do today?" - the question I then dreaded. My response came, " Um.. I went to work.. then I came home......andwenttosmallgroup". "What? What's that?", she asked. Now, since she just came to Canada, all the English she knew was from literature. So the term "small group" was definitely not part of her slang dictionary yet. So I told her that I go to church on Sundays (avoiding "I am a Christian") and that it's really big so they divide people in to small groups to get to know each other. She then asked me what we did there, and I told her that we... just try to get to know each other and support each other in our lives. Which is true, but also very vague and really not helping me feel less guilty. She looked a little confused, and then asked, "I mean.. What is the purpose of this small group?" And so I said the words that suddenly came to me, "We learn to love people. You know how it's really hard to love people sometimes? Well, at small group we tell each other about our lives and try to support one another in loving the people around us. We learn together how to love people".
SO THAT'S IT! I figured it out! Finally - you would have thought that this was a no-brainer. If you ever went to church, everyone there knows and talks about loving people, how to love people, and that Jesus told us to love one another. But why had I never thought of it so clearly? I have had thoughts where I am telling myself that I need to love people better, but I never put it in the context of sharing this with my friends. I never knew how to relate it (I'm slow, I know) or word it right so that it could be applicable to other people's lives. Maybe I didn't understand it fully myself.
So this is the answer: I go to church to learn to love people.
What about the rules?
The rules in the Bible are there to give people a starting point to let us know what love does and doesn't look like. Do not steal? Do not kill? How do you love someone by doing these things?
What about Jesus? Who is he?
Jesus is the only human to ever live a sinless life - a life full of love for everyone (Matthew 22-25). Jesus spent time healing the sick, casting out demons, and engaged with the poor. He didn't discriminate against the lepers, the outcast, nor the weak. Jesus came to give life and love to people.
So what is a Christian?
A Christian is a human who realizes that he/she is a sinner. A sinner can be described as someone who is not perfect at loving everyone. A Christian is constantly looking to change into a more loving person. Christians want to know God - we want to know more about our creator. We do this by learning to love - 1 John 4:8 says, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." A Christian is someone who wants to be like Jesus, because he knows (and is) God.
Why do we go to church?
Christians realize that they are sinners and want to change. We believe that Jesus was perfect at loving others and we want to learn from him how to do the same. We know that it is impossible to be perfect at loving, but we still want to do our best. So we go to church to learn about how to love together. We believe that one way God speaks to us is through the preacher - who delivers a sermon usually about how we can be better people, better neighbours, etc. based on the Bible. A church also provides a place where like-minded people can gather. It's like chess club; people who want to play chess go to chess club. People who want to learn to more about God go to church.
Why do we need to (or feel like we need to) love others?
The main reason why we want to love other people is because God loved us first. God sent his son, Jesus to earth to teach us how to love.
What the heck?
Because we are incapable of loving perfectly, we killed him. We killed Jesus. By crucifying him - driving nails into his hands and into his feet. We even beat him and mocked him. We didn't know who he was - until he died and the land shook and the curtain in the temple tore. Some people there realized then that he was truly the son of God.
In the Bible, when someone committed a crime or sinned, they would suffer a punishment (Romans 6:23). This punishment is death, because God is perfect, he can not be in the presence of imperfect people. So we would all die and not be able to be with God because we have sin. But God loves us - he loves his creation and wants us to be with him again (recall, Adam and Eve used to live together with God until they sinned by disobeying God and eating the forbidden fruit: Genesis 3).
So basically - we are all technically supposed to be dead and none of us are worthy enough to live with God because we have all sinned in one way or another. However, a good creator would not want his creation to suffer. God wanted us to live eternally with him so he sent a solution - he gave us a way to get out of this predicament. He sent his son Jesus down to save us. Here comes the famous verse: "For God so loved the world, he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him may not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
So that's it. To become a Christian, you start by praying to God; acknowledging that you are a sinful person, that you don't want to be like that anymore, and that you accept that Jesus died on the cross for your sins. (A thank you would probably be appreciated too.)
I don't have all the answers. You can tell by the many years it took me to finally get even this straight. But I would be happy to answer any questions you may have regarding my faith, and if I do not know the answer, maybe we can figure it out together.
