So after a long struggle between deciding whether or not I actually really want to go on exchange - and not leaving it up to other things and other people to decide for me, things are climbing up. There is a lot of pressure.
I decided to go on exchange - which means doing everything in my capability; to reach every effort I can to be able to go. This doesn't mean I will get to go, but I will definitely not blame myself for not trying hard enough if I don't go.
That being said, I am learning to take control of what happens in my life. I am a very easy going, flexible person. If things change unexpectedly, then I adapt. If I don't have a distinct opinion about whether or not I want to do something, I will leave it up to whatever happens to happen and put in whatever minimal effort I believe to be "good enough". But no, that is not good enough. That is not the way to live my life for Christ.
Revelations 3:15-16 says,
" I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
I need to make a decision. I need to be responsible for whatever happens to me, or I will end up being blown away by the wind, letting it take me places I will regret. I need to either try hard and fail, or try hard and succeed. In both, God is with me, God loves me, and God can redeem me; so why should I live my life in fear of failure? Why should I be like the wicked servant in Matthew 25:14-30? I need to use what God has given me to the best I can, and not play it safe by following whatever happens. I need to try and make things happen. Did Moses give up when Pharaoh refused to let his people go? No, he obeyed God's command to go back time and time again until Pharaoh eventually gave in (Exodus).
So I have decided to want to go on exchange. I have begged my professors to help me out, and I have paid the fees even though I don't know if I will be able to go. I am also banking on the fact that I will pass my exam this April so that I can go. A lot is riding on this: my pride/face, my leisure time, my efforts in preparation, my finances. Aiyayie.
As 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 goes, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus"
I decided to go on exchange - which means doing everything in my capability; to reach every effort I can to be able to go. This doesn't mean I will get to go, but I will definitely not blame myself for not trying hard enough if I don't go.
That being said, I am learning to take control of what happens in my life. I am a very easy going, flexible person. If things change unexpectedly, then I adapt. If I don't have a distinct opinion about whether or not I want to do something, I will leave it up to whatever happens to happen and put in whatever minimal effort I believe to be "good enough". But no, that is not good enough. That is not the way to live my life for Christ.
Revelations 3:15-16 says,
" I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
I need to make a decision. I need to be responsible for whatever happens to me, or I will end up being blown away by the wind, letting it take me places I will regret. I need to either try hard and fail, or try hard and succeed. In both, God is with me, God loves me, and God can redeem me; so why should I live my life in fear of failure? Why should I be like the wicked servant in Matthew 25:14-30? I need to use what God has given me to the best I can, and not play it safe by following whatever happens. I need to try and make things happen. Did Moses give up when Pharaoh refused to let his people go? No, he obeyed God's command to go back time and time again until Pharaoh eventually gave in (Exodus).
So I have decided to want to go on exchange. I have begged my professors to help me out, and I have paid the fees even though I don't know if I will be able to go. I am also banking on the fact that I will pass my exam this April so that I can go. A lot is riding on this: my pride/face, my leisure time, my efforts in preparation, my finances. Aiyayie.
As 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 goes, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus"
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