Urbana

So I didn't have free wifi at my hotel while I was in the states so I took some notes about what happened each day to remind myself of my thoughts and events that happened. Here they are; they aren't very specific but I'm hoping to compile something better when I get home. I also wasn't able to read Acts every day  (I read chapters 1-6) since the conference was overflowing with a lot of information and lots of bible study in Luke already, so I decided not to bombard myself with too much to process and be able to have a rested and energized mind when I start reading Acts again when I get back.

I might delete this post after I finish the series of posts from my Urbana experience.


Day 1
Arrive at hotel
Talk with high school church friend about business and plans
Why I'm here: to get info and discernment
Mutual prayers and support
Friend: ate at snarfs, bought book, lost cap, raw heel, not happy

Day 2
Sickness
Out of it
Doubt
Patience

Prayer received from EMI guy at booth : discernment and patience.


Urban poverty track
Doubts
Kcf friend in same track, telling me to rest
Prayer room: booklet on brokenness

Day 3
Sleeping in
Really sick, stuffy nose
Receiving care from roommates
Everyone asking if I'm ok, found out I'm sick
Seminar on discerning missionary call
No urban poverty track, so went to
Seminar on architecture and engineering
bump into kcf friend: shares same vision
Bookstore bought 6 books
Night session with kcf: packing med kits
Bumped into high school friend omw back to hotel
Late night chat with close friend and roommate huddle: relationships and patience, rawness in vulnerability and truth: prayer

Day 4
Sleeping in
Seminar on entrepreneurship 101
Cleared things up: gonna do start up
Good key points and advice
Talk with friend, so excited
Sickness is not hindering me
Clear nose, took meds, refreshed.
Urban poverty track again
Late night chat: roommate huddle until really late. Slept on two suitcases.

Day 5
Packing up to go home!
Prayed with a stranger
New years celebration with everyone then go home!

God provides, showing me His love through community, resting to be able to hear His word, timing of events and people I interacted with.

En route to Urbana '12!

I'm on the bus to Urbana now and I'm so excited! I can't wait to meet and catch up with people and hear about what God has been doing in their lives, how He has been moving and share with them my stories too! I also found out that a lot of my friends from everywhere- even ones from years ago are going!! I am so excited!!! Good things are about to happen and I can feel it!! I think I was so excited that I may have bothered a few people to try and talk to them about it but it's okay!!!! Too excited!

As I'll be going to the states, I'm not sure how much Internet I will use access to, so this is all I shall post for now! Hopefully I can have daily updates!

I also need to choose a book to read next for my quest to read the whole bible. Maybe I will do a bible plan.


Update: so all the busses stopped at the same stop over location and I got to see more friends that left from different locations! I am so glad to see some old and familiar faces!!! Yay!! I also decided to start reading Acts as my next book because the mini bible I brought with me told me (in the intro) that the book of Acts follows the book of Luke, as they were both written by him and talk about how the disciples continued to minister and evangelize to those around them. This book talks mostly about spreading the gospel of good news to both the Jews and the Gentiles and reveals who is invited into the Kingdom of Heaven.

This is something I am interested in because I have wondered about how the whole "chosen ones" thing worked; who gets to enter into heaven and why? I hope this book will provide some insight to the deeper questions of who I am and where I belong in His kingdom. As I am also interested in missions and spreading the word, this will be a good place to help me learn how to do that and to train myself through the experience of the disciples. There are 28 chapters in this book, so I will read two chapters a day. Aiming to finish this book in two weeks, so it should get me to just the beginning of the next school term (in January).



Luke 2:25-28 (CEV) says,

"What David said are really the words of Jesus, “I always see the Lord near me, and I will not be afraid with him at my right side. Because of this, my heart will be glad, my words will be joyful, and I will live in hope. The Lord won't leave me in the grave. I am his holy one, and he won't let my body decay. He has shown me the path to life, and he makes me glad by being near me.”"

Acts 2:41-42 says,

" On that day about 3,000 believed his message and were baptized. They spent their time learning from the apostles, and they were like family to each other. They also broke bread and prayed together."

See you soon!!!

Ghetto Cards

Merry Christmas Everybody!! Isaiah 6:9 says,

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

As promised, I will now reveal the surprise I talked about working on in a previous post!

I made Christmas cards! Ever since I left town, I started making my own cards (end of term, Christmas) and giving them out to people. It's a much more affordable, and personal way for me to show them my appreciation. Here are some samples! Most of the rest of the ones I made follow these kinds of designs. I really suck at art, but the cards I find in stores don't really represent me well. Despite all that, they didn't turn out that great.. but I really tried! For this Christmas, each one of the cards has a bow of some sort at the top, also to show that this card is a present from me to them. The theme is Christmas and winter, with the design of the card centred around the gold/red/green horn-like thing. This acts as a clip to keep the card closed.

 This one is a tree with a heart and star inside, and snowflakes around.
I found symmetry helps to make it look good.

 This one is a snowman holding a heart and a star.
I tried to incorporate a heart and a star on each design to represent our friend/kinship
(they have a special place in my heart) and how my friends and family shine (like stars) in my eyes.

This one has a string thing at the bottom, which I found to represent the ground.
I started running out of the green sparkle things for the tree so I used tissue paper. 

 Then I had these random squares of felt so I put them as ornaments or presents.

I tried to make a wreath but the tissue paper didn't give me the texture I was looking for.

I like this one because of the balloon/lollipop thing on the left. 

For some reason, it just evens out the picture. 

Maybe it's that symmetry thing, countering the red star on the right.

This is a present. 

The presents also represent the card as my present to them because I have no $$.

I really like my snowmen.

I added some ornaments to this tree. This was also after I ran out of those green sparkles.

I tried to make some tissue paper snow.

Ornament and stocking combo

 This is supposed to be a reindeer.

Another snowman in a winter wonderland type thing. 

It is more clear in this photo that the green thing on the snowman's head acts 

as a clip to keep the card closed.  This was the centre and foundation of my design because 

I needed it there, so that's what made the cards so difficult to design.

This was the backing to all of my cards, my signature and logo stamp. 

  Anyway, I think this is still better than the cards I made last year. The logo is a roach; it is a visual representation of me as that is the way my nickname (Roch) is pronounced. Roaches are also similar to me in that we are both weird, small, and funny little things. I decided to put ROACH as the name of the card maker (me) since it fits nicely under the logo and helps to promote the correct pronunciation of my nickname. ROACH also represents a personalized card made by me, such that each card is unique. GHETTO CARDS is the trademark of my "card company". This name was chosen as a recognition that these cards may look ghetto, and I acknowledge that as fact. GHETTO CARDS also represents the fact that it is an authentic card made from my heart because store bought cards are just not good enough. I wish I could have made more but these cards were limited edition (I only had so much material with me). My hope is that I will be able to keep this up over the years and then everybody will eventually get a GHETTO CARD from me, and that they will look better with time.

Peace out!

PS. Check out this a capella group! They did a lovely Carol of the Bells - Pentatonix

Also read Luke 22-24! I've reached the end of Luke! That's two books down now. =)

Roots

There are a few people that I can always count on to eat well with. These people are my family, my brothers that I grew up with at church, my band mates, the people part of my fellowship at school, and whenever I host a dinner party (hehehe). They are good company and we know how to enjoy a meal together. I am so thankful to have them to share my meals with.

Tonight I went to have hot pot with some of my brothers and a sister from my church. We had the works; we had a congee based soup and the seafood special. There was lobster, shrimp, oyster, king oyster mushrooms, lamb, salmon,wontons, meat balls, spinach, tofu, and lots of beef. I had so much meat that I think it made up for all the meat I didn't eat last week. I had never eaten this kind of hotpot before, and it was delicious!

I also was really glad that I went because I got to spend time with the people that I grew up with and used to know very well. It was kind of sad because I realized how much I was missing them since I left for university and they mostly stayed in town. People that I once chatted with almost daily and saw weekly became people that I only saw on the occasional Sunday or holiday season. I feel like so much had happened since the last time we actually just hung out and spent time in each other's company. But what makes me happy is that even though I haven't been around as much, they still welcomed me and treated me just as they used to- the sister that they grew up with. We laughed and joked about everything, we did silly things, debated over a few topics, and then just enjoyed one another's company. I am blessed to be rooted in my spiritual family that I can always go back to when I'm home.

I read Luke 19-21 today. Tomorrow is the last section!!! Then Urbana!!! Time flies! Merry Christmas everyone! :)

Family Reunion

My family lives all over the place. I have some family living in and outside of the country, around the globe, and in the same city. We're all caught up in our lives, doing our own things with our own immediate families that the only times we are brought together are during the holidays, emergencies, weddings, or other special gatherings of the like.

I like family reunions. The bringing together of everyone from everywhere. Everybody makes it. The one event a year or every few years that everybody makes an effort to attend. You get to see everybody; how they've grown, the people they've become, the children they had, or the ones that grew up. You get to show off your cool toys, your new clothing styles, and recipes. You talk about trips you've had, things you've seen, deals you've bargained, and share about things that have happened since the last time you had a family gathering. You catch up. That's what I like about family reunions. You rekindle your relationships with the people that share your blood (or are married to it).

I haven't had a family reunion for Christmas yet. I wonder if there will be one? Maybe our family reunion will be a New Years one instead, or maybe it will happen next year. Sometimes I wonder what makes people still get together after so many years of not seeing each other? I mean, yes, you are related by blood, but we're practically strangers. Maybe it's so you know who's part of your family. Maybe because no matter how far apart you've become, or what you've done, in the end - you're the same kind. You belong in the same category of last names, some % of your blood is the same, some of the genes are the same. I think God made family so that you have people who have to be there for you, people bound by blood so that you don't have to go through life on your own.

A family is like a network. You have your immediate family, and then you have your extended family. So maybe the immediate family is like the one that takes care of making sure you grow up right, and to keep you in check - people that are integrated into your daily life. Then the extended family is there because they were once part of an immediate family to somebody who is now part of a different (has their own) immediate family. Each individual immediate family that used to be all part of one immediate family now serve to care for each other's families. Say one family is going through a rough time, another family that is part of the extended family can come help them. Or when you have funerals, weddings, or babies, everybody is there to acknowledge the change in the family.

So I guess that's why we have family. Family is important because they are people that God has set up for us to learn from, grow with, and to support. Being part of a family teaches us what it means to be part of the greater family; the family of Christ. As we are all God's children, we all have our roles and parts to play in this giant family. Although we may have our immediate and extended family, we also have God's family to take care of. These people may seem even more removed than some of our extended family, but we are still family, bound by the Spirit of Christ that lives in us, and it's our job to be family to them and help them in times of need. There's a great family reunion in heaven that everyone's invited to; we just have to help each other get there.

Someday We'll Know - New Radicals

How to Eat a Banana

I am almost back to 100%! Warning that this post is just random and I don't have much to write about other than little things. =(  It's okay! I'm on the road to recovery and will be out there doing more exciting things soon!

My sister and I got a new mattress today so now our backs can sleep properly and not be broken. Yay! I was able to help move stuff around, so it's all good. Ran a few errands...

I went grocery shopping with my dad at a local Chinese grocery store, and here are some of the highlights:

1. I heard this couple (asian + non asian) arguing over some eel flavoured chips. Their conversation went like this;

"What is that?" (Man)

"Eel flavoured chips!" (Woman)

"EEWW. That's disgusting! Put that down!" + other really mean things that can come off as quite offensive to people who are asian and eat/like these kinds of snacks.  (Man)

"No, I like it. I'm going to buy it anyway."  (Woman)

Anyway, I was a bit taken back at his disgust towards eel flavoured chips, but I haven't tried them myself, so I can't say right?! So I bought a pack and I'm going to try them when I can eat crunchy things.  THEN we will see if it's gross or not. =P 

2. There was this Jamaican guy who was wandering the aisles of dry foods, snacks, spices, and teas. He saw me and asked, 

"Excuse me, do you know what vanilla extract is?"

"Yes, it's for baking right?"

"Yes! Oh, could you please ask someone where I can find it?"

"Oh... I'm sorry... uhh... I don't know what that is...in Chinese...heh" 

Oops. I was just wandering the aisles myself, trying to see what neat things I can find to eat or cook with. I just like doing that. Anyway, he realized I was born here and didn't really speak Chinese that well.. haha... I'm glad he understood. But I did end up finding it for him, since I had nothing to do really.. and he kept asking me why I was there.. what I was looking for.. etc. All I could say was that I was just browsing and looking around. I guess he thought I was weird and wondered what I was doing. haha. Anyway, just something cool that happened.

3. On the way home, my dad told me to eat a banana. He said, 

"You know how to eat a banana right? Just peel it back and then you can scoop out the inside with a spoon and feed yourself."

That's great. Thanks for that. 

The Christmas Song - David Choi and some others

Keeping on track:

Luke 13-15 today!

Time to Rise

I realize that I have been in bed for almost 5 days now. I'm getting out today. You can read on to find out how I came to this predicament.

Here are some scrambled notes I made. Hopefully I will have time when I get home to organize these thoughts into well written paragraphs.


I confined myself to my bed for so long
Other people won't know that I've grown or changed if I don't show them
Only I know and can define what I am capable of, so others will assume that i haven't changed and will treat me that way until I show them otherwise.

Have to stop letting myself fall into the comforts of being taken care of

If I keep calling out for help, people will always think I need it

Time to take care of myself, and prove that I can take care of myself by doing it

No amount of moping, complaining, hoping will get me anywhere without action.

Get off my lazy butt and stop limiting myself to what I think I can do, to what I am comfortable with. If I never explore or try, I will never know.

Brushing teeth with toothpaste
Ignore the dull pain
Push past my own constraints and worries of others to keep my promises do what I need to do for myself

I can't keep waiting around for someone to come and encourage me. I need to encourage myself.

Walk Alone - The Roots

This "toothache" isn't even that bad. I can do with the throbbing and dull pain, but why is there such a constant sharp annoying pain in my ears!??? Kk please stop now!!!!

Yes, I also read Luke 10-12 today, no worries. Read it before I got out of bed.

Nehemiah's Vision

Nehemiah.

Last night I dreamt about Nehemiah. I was there with him, I saw the wine stain in the center of his palm, and I felt his pain for his people in Jerusalem. I woke up, his name still resounding in my mind, "Nehemiah".

The first thing I felt when I woke up was pain. Pain in my right cheek. I had woken up a bit too late, around 11 am, and my pain killers had long worn off. I took the pills and then rolled back into bed, but I couldn't sleep. Nehemiah. I couldn't stop thinking about him. About my dream, I needed to know more.

So I read Nehemiah. The whole book, all 13 chapters. This book was written by Nehemiah, sort of like a journal or diary entry. I really enjoyed it.

Nehemiah 1 talks about him finding out about the state of Jerusalem, the city walls being in ruins. He then weeps and prays for God to help him help his people. This chapter ends with, "I was cupbearer to the king". This is inspirational for me because who am I? I am just a second year university student who knows practically nothing and all I have is a dream. But Nehemiah was just a cupbearer, and look at what God did through him.

Nehemiah 2 - The king senses Nehemiah's sadness and inquires about it. Nehemiah tells him what's on his heart, and the king is on his side. The king offers to help him and grants him some time away from the kingdom and even provides him with safety, and building materials - everything that he would need to restore the walls of Jerusalem. For me, this is like God saying to me that he will provide. I don't need to worry about the logistics just yet (at this early stage in the process), I just need to have faith and believe that He will lead me and that He will provide when the time is right.

Nehemiah 3 - This chapter is dedicated to keeping an account of who took part in building the walls of Jerusalem. Everybody that helped out had their name recorded in this chapter. It is important to thank and appreciate those who help.

Nehemiah 4 - This is where there is a bit of trouble stirring. Some people are opposing the rebuilding of the walls and they are trying to stop them. But in verses 4-5, the Jews cry out to the Lord saying,

"Hear us, our God, for we are despised. Turn their insults back on their own heads. Give them over as plunder in a land of captivity. Do not cover up their guilt or blot out their sins from your sight, for they have thrown insults in the face of the builders."

But their enemies (the people who opposed the rebuilding of the wall) kept going at them, plotting the death of the Jews, still trying to stop them. The Jews do not lose hope. They post guards and carry weapons with them as they work, to defend themselves. They carry on with their work and pray to God for safety and for strength, which God blesses them with. Verses 13-15 say, 

" Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” When our enemies heard that we were aware of their plot and that God had frustrated it, we all returned to the wall, each to our own work. "

I think this chapter is telling me that it's not going to be easy, trying to help people rebuild their lives so that they can live comfortably, safely, and peacefully. There are going to be people who will go against me, and those with me, and I will need to be prepared. I need to know that God is my strength and that He will take care of me. As long as I am with Him and He is with me, our work will continue.

Nehemiah 5 talks about Nehemiah restoring the poor, and helping those who have lost. He is trying to set things right back to the way they were supposed to be (in terms of political corruption and tax collecting, etc). 

Nehemiah 6 - The enemies continue to try and stop Nehemiah and the Jews. They say mean things and plot evil against them, but Nehemiah does not waiver. He recognizes who is and who isn't on God's side, and he acts accordingly. I hope that I too, will be able to discern God's voice from that of the evil one when the time comes. Verse 16 says this, 

"When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God."

Nehemiah 7 - Consists of a list of all the exiles who returned to the city. At this point, the walls have all been rebuilt, and people are coming to live here now.

Nehemiah 8 - To start off the city in it's new shape, Ezra, the priest brings out the Book of the Law of Moses, which was what God had commanded for Israel (verse 1) and he reads it aloud to all the people. 

Nehemiah 9 - Is mostly just a recounting of what has happened in the earlier parts of the Old Testament between the Israelites and God. They confess of their sins through this period, and reflect on how the Lord has been faithful to them the entire time, even though they have been rebellious and sinful. 

Nehemiah 10 - The people renew their covenant with God, and set their goals to live the way that the Lord had intended for them to live based on the Book of the Law of Moses, and how their ancestors had lived. 

Nehemiah 11 - Lists more people who joined the city.

Nehemiah 12 - They celebrate and dedicate the wall of Jerusalem. Verses 42-43 say,

"The choirs sang under the direction of Jezrahiah. And on that day they offered great sacrifices, rejoicing because God had given them great joy. The women and children also rejoiced. The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away."

All was good now, and everybody was celebrating the completion of the rebuilding of the walls! Hurrah!

Nehemiah 13 - Talks about Nehemiah's follow up with that city after he returns to the king's palace. The final verse (31) of this book and chapter says, 

"Remember me with favor, my God."

And I'm sure God does.

I am so inspired by Nehemiah's story. I am so glad that his book got included in the Bible and that I got to read it today. I have been praying and asking God to give me a vision and to lead me and to give me some sort of direction on where to go lately. I have this seed planted in my heart, a vision, a heart for the people living in third world countries, people who struggle to survive each day. I want to help them. I don't think it's fair that I am living in a first world country and am doing nothing to care for these people - God's people. I feel that God is calling me to these people, He has placed a desire for change in me. I may not be around to see everything through to the end, and I may not know exactly where in the world God wants me to be, or exactly what He wants me to do just yet, but all I know is that I have to put my trust in God and let Him take me on an adventure that is the rest of my life. I am ready, I am willing, and I know that I do not have to be afraid. 

I read an old post today, and at the end of that post (written more than a year ago) I talked about my "chains coming loose". At this moment, I feel so free. Just having given up my life to God's hands, letting Him take control of the reins and drive me to wherever it may be, is so freeing. I can do whatever it is that God wants me to do without any fear, knowing that He is on my side and that because I want His plans for me, I know that I will be content and satisfied with whatever happens in my life. I know that I still have a long way to go, and that there is lots more research to do. I know that there will be trials and tribulations and people to fight. I know that this is not going to be easy but I do know that with God's help anything is possible and that His mission and plans will always succeed. I don't have to be afraid, I don't have to be lost, as long as I give my heart to Him I am free! 

I Am Free - Newsboys

"The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light." - Romans 13:12 

Luke 4-6

Reading Luke 4-6 today, it talks about Jesus growing up, bring tested, preaching, teaching, healing, and calling his disciples. Here are some verses that stuck out to me.

Luke 4: 18-19 says,
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
    and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
    to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

This is Jesus saying that he is the one that was prophesied to come in Isaiah 61:1-2

Luke 6:20-26 are the Beatitudes

Jesus also tells the people to love their enemies, Luke 6:27-31, 35-36


But I really like this part of Chapter 6, the analogy of a tree and its fruit, with people and their hearts.

Luke 6:43-45 says, “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes  or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."


Update on my teeth:  I am still swollen. I took all my anti-swelling meds now, so hopefully they'll work. I am going to spend today in bed too. I have a pile of books and movies next to my bed so I can just reach over and grab something whenever I'm not sleeping and when I'm bored. I can also plan out what to do during my break after I get better and can eat. I want to see some people and catch up before I go back to Waterloo, so that I can keep as many friendships strong as I can.

Have you guys heard of Jessie Chambers? This song just kept playing on my Grooveshark music station and I liked it. But I listened to his other songs and I didn't like them as much... But this song seems to be alright, if I understand what he's trying to say - to be wary of people called "dreamkillas" who are out there to stop you from achieving your dreams, and that you have to be strong and beast-mode your way through to the end.

Here is the chorus: DreamKillas - Jessie Chambers


You gotta keep on dreaming
Please believe it
Despite pressure

Stay believing

Never lose your focus
Cause they will notice
yeah we call um
The Dream Killas, they want to cut you down.

the Wisdom Teeth Extraction

This girl sounds really good. She's doing a cover of The A Team - Ed Sheeran

As promised, today I will describe my experience in getting my wisdom teeth out. I had to get all four out at the same time, and I was given a local anesthesia and sedative through an IV. I do not like needles, so I told them that I get really queasy thinking about it and stuff. So the nurse was really nice, she told me everything that she was going to do, and described the machinery she was going to hook me up to. First she sat me down in the dental chair, then some other nurse put my hair in a hair net/shower cap thing. Then she put a bib around my neck to catch the drool or anything that might come out of my mouth during the operation / something to act as a tissue for the surgeon if he wanted to wipe his tools. She put a clip on my thumb, to keep track of my oxygen levels, she stuck three stickers (two in the space between my shoulders and chest, and one on my left side) to monitor my heart rate, and she wrapped those blood pressure monitoring squeezing things around my left arm. It's supposed to squeeze me every 5 minutes. Then she put the mask (just a tube with a maybe 1/4 of the side cut out) over my nose. It was a dark pastel-orange tube that ran horizontally across my face, with a slot for it to fit my nose. The mask only gave me oxygen at first, so I could get used to it. Then after a while, she started giving me the laughing gas so that I would feel "drunk" and not worry about the needle she'd need to put in my vein for the IV drip. That's when the surgeon came in. He was a big guy, but not in a scary way - he was like an Asian Santa. He was really nice and comforting. I noticed the nurse having a bit of trouble trying to find my vein in my right hand and she poked me a few times and I could feel her digging around because apparently my veins weren't showing up. But I didn't care - the laughing gas was working and I felt no fear. I kept laughing and asking if she found my vein yet. I think I was talking too much because she kept telling me not to worry about what she was doing and focus on breathing in the laughing gas. The surgeon even closed my mouth for me (gently) and said, "If I were you, I'd just inhale as much of this laughing gas as I can, it feels really good."  What a funny man. After looking for my vein in my other hand (left), she finally found my vein and then the IV started flowing in me. My finger tips felt a bit tingly because of the laughing gas, but I didn't feel the IV flowing through my veins (which was what I was trying to avoid since my imagination of that feeling was very uncomfortable, so phew).

After that, I just stared at them for a bit and then I fell asleep. I don't remember what happened. I don't remember any part of the surgery. I am also a bit sad to say that I don't remember what I "dreamt" or "thought" about or "did" while I was knocked out. I remember nothing! I wasn't in another world, I didn't see God or a bright figure. I just woke up and found myself in another room with my dad and sister staring at me. I was shaking a lot and I started tearing up without knowing why. Maybe I was just so overwhelmed that I survived and that God decided to let me live a while longer. I was just glad to be alive. I think I also scared the guy who was about to get laughing gas (he was the next patient) because he heard me crying and turned around asking, "AM I GOING TO BE LIKE HER?"  Tehee, sorry man. I remember that I kept asking questions and talking a lot, saying things like, "Were there any complications?" (to that, the surgeon said, "No, it went well!"), "I'm sorry! Thank you! Thank yoU! I'm SOrry!" (to these things, the nurse and basically everyone around me kept trying to shush me and get me to stop talking, but I didn't seem to get the point in my drugged state). The nurse and my family supported me all the way to the car and then my family took me home.

Then I basically slept all day, slurped up some purred squash my sister made for me (which was delicious by the way), and then I wanted to play mah jong (addictive, gambling tile-card Asian game) with my family, but they refused to play and made me rest instead. Oh well. Not that we were going to gamble with money or anything, just with chips and then see who had the most at the end. Just for fun.

Oh well. Today I'm going to be staying in bed all day, trying to recover as fast as I can so that I can finish up some of my work that I have to email in preferably by the end of the week, and so I can play! Attend Christmas gatherings, get ready for Urbana, and then go to New Years celebrations!!! I can't wait to eat ice cream in a few days! I can't have anything too hot or too cold yet. But just you wait!!!!!! SOON!!!!!!!

Yes, I also have drugs I'm taking. I'm taking one to two pain killers every 4 hours (or more, since the pain is diminishing now, and I've gotten used to the dull pain), an anti-swelling pain, and antibiotics. I feel pretty okay. I can still do math, and bargain with cell phone sales representatives. I am just slightly sleepy all the time and eating less, but I don't really need the energy anyway to lie in bed.

So this experience isn't that bad. I survived the hardest part - waking up from the anesthesia. The pain is not really a big concern thanks to the pain killers and my wonderful surgeon. My family is supportive and understand that I am in pain and need to rest. My dog is really cute and sleeps by my side, keeping me company and making me happy every time I roll over and look at her. I am blessed.

Proverbs 31

So I decided to read Proverbs 31 today since its the last chapter in Proverbs!! I also don't want to miss a chapter. It's been so good to read. I don't have too much strength and I'm really tired from the painkillers so I will post about the wisdom tooth extraction experience tomorrow. Also, I'm alive! I made it and now I must continue my work on earth!

I really liked Proverbs 31 and am glad that this book ends the way it does.

Here are the verses that stood out to me and I hope I will one day come back to this to reread and reanalyze. This chapter ends the book of Proverbs by talking about the characteristics of a wife and describes her role in and relationship with her family.

Verses 8-9, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."

Verses 10-12, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

Verse 17, " She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks."

Verses 25, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."

Verse 26, "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

Verse 30, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Lost in Time

Today I found myself getting lost in myself everywhere I went.

Lost in Praise
At church, I was lost in song, and praise. It has been such a long time since I've been back home, and being able to sing praises with all the other brothers and sisters that came back from university for the break was so good. I was really happy seeing them. Not everyone came, but I'm sure I"ll be seeing them before I leave again. There is usually an older black lady who comes to our service, but she was missing today. I always look for her because she dances during praise! I admire her that she does whatever she feels like is her way to worship, and isn't afraid to be the only one who dances. I sometimes wish I could be more like her, just be able to freely break out in dance, but it'd be really ugly. haha. Anyway, this song we sang today (What Can I Do - Paul Baloche) really resonated with me because I still feel so helpless about tomorrow's surgery that the only thing I can do is really give my life to God and put all my worries in His hands. Remember that God has given so much for me to be able to live the life that I have now, and whatever happens to me is all in His plan, and knowing this and that He loves me is very comforting right now.

Isaiah 12:2 says, "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense, He has become my salvation."

Lost in Thought
After church, my sister and I went to Chapters to look for books since there was a sale and special discounts today. I got so lost in my thoughts of what books I should look for, which books were worth paying for (or just borrow from the library), etc. I was trying to find biographies to get a different perspective on different aspects of life, books on other parts of the world and what hardships people have gone through, books on what people are doing in the world now, trying to find books to help me with my future. There was so much to look at, so many things I wanted to read. I lost all track of time and was so absorbed in the books that I didn't even feel my phone vibrating in my pocket!

If You're Out There - John Legend

Lost in Food
Since tomorrow is my surgery, I'm not allowed to eat anything after tonight (8 hours before). So my parents decided to have hot pot. I ate a lot. It was a good choice. I love food. I love hot pot; the raw egg, the sauces, the meat, oh so yummy! Then my dad prepared us some exotic fruit like dragon-fruit  and mangosteen. yum yum. After that, I baked Christmas sugar cookies. I think I'm ready to not eat for a while.


I will probably not be posting tomorrow, as I will be on drugs and in bed all day trying to recover. So I will resume with Proverbs 31 if I get back (hopefully Tuesday).



Proverbs 30 include the sayings of Agur. There is a lot of talk about specific numbers two, three, four, things that are similar and are compared. Some of them are listed below, I really liked how the author wrote this chapter.


Verses 5-6, “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar."

Verses 7-9, "Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die. Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord? Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

Verses 18-19, "There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a young woman."

Old Friends

I'm home! I woke up pretty early on my own this morning (no alarm) at 9:30 and started cleaning! I am proud to say that my room is probably the cleanest it has ever been this term. I made it back home with my clothes in a suitcase. I took the bus with a friend and we surprised my sister just as she got off work! What a happy reunion. I missed her a lot and our friend that I bussed back with also hadn't seen her for a while. So it was good. It is always good to see an old friend. I'm excited to be back home and can't wait to meet up with all my old friends again. But I guess this will have to start after my surgery... If I come back (see previous post).


Here are some verses from Proverbs 29:

Verse 6,"Evildoers are snared by their own sin, but the righteous shout for joy and are glad."

Verse 8, "Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger."

Verse 10, "The bloodthirsty hate a person of integrity and seek to kill the upright."

Verse 23, "Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor."

Verse 26, "Many seek an audience with a ruler, but it is from the Lord that one gets justice."

Epic

With the end of today marks the end of this work term. I am finally done! Four straight terms here, and a fifth one soon. Time passes by so quickly. I submitted my application for co-op student of the year with the help of my previous employer, who happily wrote some very kind words for me in my nomination letter. I also reached a big milestone for my project at work. I couldn't complete it, but at least I got it to the next milestone. I also still have a few things to finish up but I can send those in anytime next week. Hopefully I'll be up and running after my surgery to work on it. I also got to see a friend that I haven't seen for a very long time today! It was really good. We went for lunch with a few other people who are leaving after this term, and I had a good time. I'm going to miss them, but I'm glad that we had the chance to cross paths and walk together for a bit.

I also got to see the movie, The Hobbit today! I will not ruin it by talking about the details, but it was very well done, and worthwhile. I really enjoyed the graphics and special effects, as well as their attention to detail and I feel that the director did a really good job choosing which scenes to make stand out. I didn't know that it was going to be a three part movie, so there goes (will go) another 9 hours of my life. One day, I'll have a Lord of the Rings marathon with my kids, and it will take 18 hours.

I absolutely loved the movie. It was filled with adventure, little life lessons, humour, fighting, and I really love it when they sing. I feel like the theme songs that the movie directors have chosen will never get old. So good. It was epic. I only wish they made this movie before the Lord of the Rings trilogy, so that the audience would be able to watch the whole thing unwind in order. Oh man!!! What a good movie. I would see it again even though it was so long.

Misty Mountains - Full version  The Hobbit snippet


I was going to go out again, but I decided to go home. It's late and I need to prepare to go home tomorrow!

Some verses from Proverbs 28 today:

Verse 1, "The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion."

Verse 5, "Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand it fully."

Verse 11, "A rich man may be wise in his own eyes, but a poor man who has discernment sees through him."

Verse 13, "He who conceals his sin does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."

All of the Lights

Tomorrow is my last day of work! Yay! Then I can go home on Saturday and relax. I have so much cleaning up to do before I leave! I watched last night's episode of Modern Family, and I really enjoyed this quote that the character Phil said, "That's the funny thing about marriage; you fall in love with this extraordinary person, and over time they begin to seem ordinary". In some ways that does seem true. Sometimes you spend so much time with one person that you start to forget what they are capable of, or other aspects of them until they do something that takes you back and then you remember again.

As I was leaving the library today to meet my friends, my friend popped out of the elevator as I was about to get in! I had seen her earlier but when she left she said she wasn't going to come back, so it was good to see her again. Anyway, as she was getting out she was speaking with the library custodian and the lady seemed really nice. I had never really talked to a custodian before other than saying thank you, or just nodding hello. So as we rode the elevator, we got to chat and it was really nice. She seemed really cool and as she got out on a floor earlier than mine, she told me to have a good week and was about to walk off, when she spun around, pointed a finger at me, and said, "Oh, and merry Christmas!" I guess you had to have been there to really know what I'm talking about (it was a lot cooler than it sounds). But just her vibe was so animated and so much like something you'd see on TV. =)

This is a cute video and song!

Then I met up with my friends and I finally got to go see the lights at the park! It was pretty cool! Although I had imagined 3D decorations and lights, they still had some pretty cool stuff. There were lights that moved using a hydraulics system, lights that flashed on and off such that it would create an animation, some houses that had moving puppet things... and then lots of creative 2D figures. It's probably better to just see them for yourself than to try and imagine what I'm struggling to describe.

Yay! I was so excited to see this! I didn't really know exactly where in the park it was, so I was just banking on the fact that I'd be able to see lights from somewhere and then follow my way there. But it turns out my friends and I went straight to the entrance without even planing to! 

This is what I meant when I said there were puppets inside. They look kind of creepily ugly, but it's still cool that they made this.

It says, "Santa's Hotline". You could go inside and sit, not that it provided any shelter (it was just a frame). 

 

Two part series, it would flash the top photo and then the bottom one. 

They even hung this in way up there! It's a hot air balloon.. sorry it's upside down.. I will fix this when I have better internet.

Batman!?

Spongebob and Patrick =) 

Also a two part series, we followed the North star and found Jesus!

Penguins. This is really what Canada looks like everywhere.

Winnie the Pooh!

This is a two part series only because I couldn't tel which side was the front. There was no special animation or anything... Just someone who has trouble seeing, I guess.

This was a cute fireplace scene.

Two part series of a dinosaur eating a palm tree, oh how Christmassy.

And finally, Noah's ark! 

Yay! There were tons more, but I didn't want to post all 70 photos!!  I'm glad I got to go even though I had expected something quite different. It was still really cool to look at and fun to go there with my friends! 

Read on for today's Proverbs 27

Don't Let Go

Lately I've been so occupied with work and trying to see everyone before I go that I haven't been thinking much about what comes after for me. I mean, I know about long-term goals and other things like that but I managed to forget about my wisdom teeth surgery. It hit me a bit stronger today, that in 5 days, I would be sitting in the dental chair, waiting for some anesthesia to kick in. Great.

I'm not actually so much worried about feeling the pain. I was more afraid of the IV drip they're going to put in me and blacking out. I get really queasy just thinking about taking blood out or internal body parts moving around and such. That stuff just makes me feel sick. I know it's all psychological, but my knees and the blood that has stopped circulating in my legs seem to tell me that it's real. I just really hope that it's not so bad as my imagination is making it and at worst it'll only be 5 seconds before I black out anyway right?

Now for the real thing - what if I don't come back?

I met up with a friend for lunch today, and that's when I accidentally blurted out some stupid fact that some people don't wake up. I do not know why I thought it was such a great thing to say at that time. Seriously. Why do I scare myself like that? It's a possibility. Sometimes the people who are operating on you give you too much of something (I have no biology background... so please excuse my lack of words) and you might go into too deep of a sleep or something. I have no idea. I just know that some people never wake up.

So I thought about it. What if I don't wake up? What will it be like when I'm knocked out? At first, I was pretty certain that I would be coming back. Not to sound presumptuous, but I don't feel like my purpose on earth has been fulfilled yet - I feel that it's not my time yet. But then what do I know, so maybe God will take me away. So I was pretty sure that I would come back. Most people do. Most.

Then I remembered something my friend told me, you can read about it here. It was pretty much a miracle story that happened to him. He went into a coma, and then basically was given instructions by a "bright figure" to dig through the clouds he was standing on to go back to his earthly home. A few days later, he woke up from his coma. It's even more amazing because his mom told me that the doctors said that there was a very high chance he wouldn't wake up, and even if he did - he would lose the ability to speak. But he woke up and he could speak.

So I was pretty excited about that. I want to experience something like that first hand too. Maybe when I blackout I will see a "bright figure" and that'd be really cool. I wonder what it would say to me. I wonder what I would do. Would I have my own cloud to dig through?

But what if I had the choice; to go back to earth or to come home to be in heaven with God? For some reason, that thought comforts me. Even if I do not wake up, I will be with God - and wouldn't that be something. But no worries, I will choose to come back if such a decision is given to me. I promised my friend I would.

Although I feel like I have a lot of things I want to accomplish before I leave, I also feel like maybe it's not so bad. Somebody else can take my place. So either way, it won't be bad. I'm pretty happy right now, even though I'm really stressed out with work, I know that I have family and friends that love me, a God who has control over everything, and I'm just really at peace. If I don't wake up, that's okay. If I do, then there will be more things for me to do and experience - which will be cool too. So it's really all in God's hands.

It just scares me because this will be one time in my life where I will have absolutely no control over anything. I won't even be able to think, or see it happen. If I die, I die. I won't see a knife or bullet in my chest, I won't feel pain, I won't even know that I'm about to die. It'll just happen when I'm already blacked out. Asleep, forever... or until someone special comes to wake me up. hehehe. just kidding.

Anyway, this will be a good opportunity to put my faith in Christ, to know that He has control over everything and since there is nothing I can do, I shouldn't worry. Today I thought of this, "things always go according to plan, it just depends on whose". It is not my will, but God's will whether or not I will wake up.

In essence, these are my final thoughts for now: if I wake up, great. If I get the choice to come back, I will. My friend at lunch told me that it seems that a lot of people who have had experiences where they blackout and remember what happened (usually they don't remember) had the choice whether or not they wanted to come back. They came back because they held on to life, and didn't give up. So if I get there, I won't give up either. I won't let go. If I don't have that choice and I don't wake up - thank you for everyone who has been part of my life. Thank you for all the experiences, life lessons, and times we spent together. I'm really happy and really glad to have made all the friendships I have, and I don't want anyone to be sad if I don't come back. We will all one day meet again, and it'll be a real big party.


Also, please pray for me, that it won't hurt too much if I wake up. Haha. I think my pain tolerance is pretty good, everything just becomes dull and null after a while. But anyway, please pray for a quick recovery and that there won't be any complications! I want to be able to eat and play!

Waiting Here For You - Christy Nockels

Heap it all On

So this is my last week of work... and so far I've been swamped with lots of things to do. I have an electrical project to finish as well as two mechanical drawings, and I have a bunch of little things to think about too. It's so different from last week, where I was just sitting around trying to find things to do. I decided to learn how to use a new software, as it would be nice to have it on my resume to open up possible jobs in the future. But when my boss realized that I had been learning the software, I was given more work to do using it. I'm still really noob at the software so it's taking a great deal of time for me to figure out and get something done that would take an experienced user far less time. Oh well, at least this will reinforce what I've been learning. I didn't really finish the whole training tutorial (actually, I just got through the intro stuff), so I decided to just figure it out on my own.

Anyway, I guess I'm having mixed feelings about this being my last week. I'm going to miss spending time with the people here, and many of them are either done for good, or will not be returning for a while. I hope I will get to see them again. That would be nice. However, I am also ready to go on vacation. I think this term has worn me out physically as well as mentally and it'd be nice to just take a break. But this being my last week also makes it my busiest week besides the load at work. I (tell myself) I have to meet up with the people that I have gotten to know better this term and tell them goodbye (hopefully temporarily) and wish them well in their futures. Oh and I must go see the lights at the park!!!!! There was bad weather on Sunday so I couldn't go. There's also another sort of winter wonderland thing uptown, so I would like to go see that too before I leave! I also have to clean my room and pack up all the things I will be needing for the few weeks I'll be home, and prepare for Urbana!
I'm excited to go home, see my dog, see my family, and catch up with my friends. I want to know all about what they've been up to, how God has been working in their lives (if they believe), and just spend time with them.

Although I still have a few more days left, I feel like time is passing by too quickly and just wish that I could pause life and reorganize my thoughts so that I can be productive and complete everything on my (mental) to-do list!

Today I met up with a friend for lunch, and it was really good! We talked about a lot of things that we have been learning this term; the highlights and the things we wish hadn't happened. But either way, they all contributed to our experiences and led us to where we are now. I also got to meet up with another friend for dinner and that was really good too. I am happy.

I think I need to be more patient. Sometimes I do things and act too quickly because I'm afraid that the other person will forget or will miss it. But I feel like I need to be more chill and stop doing that so much because it doesn't give that person the chance to do it first, and it's not really fair for them. Besides, it will show how important they think it is and if they really do care. Maybe I just have too much time on my hands.

I Don't Know - Justin Nozuka  This song doesn't really relate to anything I wrote about, but I wanted to post it before I forgot about it.

Proverbs 25

Verses 6-7, "Do not exalt yourself in the king's presence, and do not claim a place among his great men; it is better for him to say to you, "Come up here," than for him to humiliate you before his nobles."

Verses 21-22, "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you."

Verse 28, "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control."

I Love You Love

This guy's voice melts my heart. Hehehe
I Love You Love - John Legend

Hush my baby, don't you cryI'll dry your eyes, fulfill your heart's desireLet's go in, try againCareful this time, broken promises linger in our mind
I'll give in completely, hearts break so easyI know, believe me, oh I've triedBut my arms can hold you, my kiss console youI'll come and love you tonight
And I, I love, I love, I loveLove hurts sometimes but this feels rightYou, you love, you love, you loveThough you've been burned you still return
Come and share my house, my homeAnd all I own I'd love to give to youAren't you tired of going along this lonely road?It takes its toll on you
Give me your emotion, your heart's devotionGive anything you likeAnd I'll give understanding, life's so demandingI'm all you need to get by
And I, I love, I love, I loveLove hurts sometimes but this feels rightAnd you, you love, you love, you loveThough you've been burned you still return
I love, I love, I loveLove hurts sometimes but this feels rightAnd you, you love, you love, you loveThough you've been burned you still returnStill return, still return to love, keep coming back to love



Proverbs 24 continues to offer so much wisdom.

Verses 1-2, " Do not envy the wicked, do not desire their company; for their hearts plot violence, and their lips talk about making trouble".
Verses 17-18, "Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from them".
Verses 19-20, "Do not fret because of evildoers or be envious of the wicked, for the evildoer has no future hope, and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out".