Queasy

I'm not ready to face tomorrow (doctor's). Just thinking about getting my blood taken out already makes me feel uncomfortable. Thinking about telling him about what happened last week makes me feel anxious. My leg and arm muscles are so sore, that I could fall over any minute. I wont be allowed to have any food after dinner tonight, until tomorrow after the appointment and xrays etc. tomorrow's not looking so good right now. How do i tell the doctor? i'm sure he's handled these situations before, and he's an expert & a professional, but i dont want him to tell anyone  until we get reports back or know for sure. i dont know. what am i thinking. what if my mom comes in the room with me? and then how am i supposed to tell theh doctor what's going on? last time she didnt come in with me because "i'm old enough now", but maybe she'll decide to come in with me this time. crap. i hadn't thought of that possibility. maybe i shouldn't tell him and just see if i can get the scans and xrays anyway... and then we'll all suddenly find out that there's a problem. they dont  have to know that i've known the whole time that there was something wrong with me. then i'll be questioned and i dont know how i'm going to react or they will react. i dont want to think about it, but as night goes on i'm feeling more and more uneasy.....