http://youtu.be/KkNqxcz3E3M - Ancient Words
Ever since this term started in September, I haven't had much time to spend by myself. I often find myself chatting with others, eating out, and just always being in the company of another. I haven't had much down time; time for me to just rest, and lounge around in my own comfort. Although I do enjoy being around others and having thoughtful and deep conversation with my friends or new-found companions, I still need to recharge my emotional energy every once in a while. This is something that I've been lacking lately.
Yesterday was the first day that I've been able to spend mostly to myself. Life was just getting too much. I used to always have lots of time to spend on my own, but because of my new living situation, I don't feel comfortable being home alone, or being home in general. Instead, I have been hanging out a lot; leaving early in the mornings and returning late at night only to sleep. I was so caught up in life that I had no time to think or reflect deeply about what happened each day, or just relaxing. I have been overly exhausted. A normal day for me would be to wake up and go to work, then meet up with people for lunch, go back to work, then meet up with people for dinner, then do an activity with them, and then finally go home around 11pm or later. I ate out all the time, saw people all the time, and was just always occupied; physically and mentally. I didn't get enough sleep (8hours), and would rely on coffee to keep myself awake during the work hours.
Aside from my living conditions, I had a lot of other stresses that added to my emotional exhaustion. I was drawn into different friends' situations and trying to help them or "save" them started to take a toll on me as I would burden myself with their problems and think that I was the one who was to be their hero. I felt that if I couldn't do something to change their situation for the better, that I was doing a bad job as their friend.
But I've been meeting up with a friend lately, who I haven't really hung out with in a while. And as I explained my situation, and talked about the different aspects of my life that made me so exhausted, my friend said to me, "from what you're telling me, it seems like you're burdened by other people's sin". This was a thought. A new thought to me. I had never really thought of my situation like that before. Heck, I hadn't even really had much time to reflect on anything that was going on in my life. I was always on the fly, going and going and going; from one place to another, my mind wandering from one thing to the next, never having the chance to really digest and delve into the root of all that was happening. As I thought about it more and more, the words my friend had said to me sunk in, and I began to see the truth of that statement. There was definitely a lot of sin revolving around the issues that my friends have been dealing with, and even in my own attitudes and thoughts, there were unclean thoughts. I had negative feelings towards some people I had come in contact with, had a lot of mixed feelings about certain things, and buried many of my real thoughts and feelings.
As I met up again with this same friend, I uncovered a lot of thoughts and feelings that I didn't realize I had. This talk was very therapeutic for me. My friend asked me questions that provoked me to really think about the underlying meanings of my thoughts and actions. I was also reminded to look into the Bible for help, and truth. So after this meeting, I spent the rest of the day by myself, just trying to relax and recharge. It was really good. Then today, the sermon at church talked about looking to scripture for help and just to always stay connected to it; always go back to it to learn how to live. It reminded me of how much I really needed to read more of God's word and use that to sort out my problems. To go to God and ask him to lift up the burdens I have taken up upon myself from others, and to help cleanse the sin from around me. I need Jesus to do the saving. I am just here to do my role as a servant of Christ and to live my life the way it was intended.
As I go off and start a new week, here are some goals:
- Pray for others instead of worrying
- Bring my problems and issues to God
- Get enough sleep
- Eat at home/cook more
- Meet up with different people for lunch
- Start ecxercising
- Give myself rest time and space to recharge/re-energize
Ever since this term started in September, I haven't had much time to spend by myself. I often find myself chatting with others, eating out, and just always being in the company of another. I haven't had much down time; time for me to just rest, and lounge around in my own comfort. Although I do enjoy being around others and having thoughtful and deep conversation with my friends or new-found companions, I still need to recharge my emotional energy every once in a while. This is something that I've been lacking lately.
Yesterday was the first day that I've been able to spend mostly to myself. Life was just getting too much. I used to always have lots of time to spend on my own, but because of my new living situation, I don't feel comfortable being home alone, or being home in general. Instead, I have been hanging out a lot; leaving early in the mornings and returning late at night only to sleep. I was so caught up in life that I had no time to think or reflect deeply about what happened each day, or just relaxing. I have been overly exhausted. A normal day for me would be to wake up and go to work, then meet up with people for lunch, go back to work, then meet up with people for dinner, then do an activity with them, and then finally go home around 11pm or later. I ate out all the time, saw people all the time, and was just always occupied; physically and mentally. I didn't get enough sleep (8hours), and would rely on coffee to keep myself awake during the work hours.
Aside from my living conditions, I had a lot of other stresses that added to my emotional exhaustion. I was drawn into different friends' situations and trying to help them or "save" them started to take a toll on me as I would burden myself with their problems and think that I was the one who was to be their hero. I felt that if I couldn't do something to change their situation for the better, that I was doing a bad job as their friend.
But I've been meeting up with a friend lately, who I haven't really hung out with in a while. And as I explained my situation, and talked about the different aspects of my life that made me so exhausted, my friend said to me, "from what you're telling me, it seems like you're burdened by other people's sin". This was a thought. A new thought to me. I had never really thought of my situation like that before. Heck, I hadn't even really had much time to reflect on anything that was going on in my life. I was always on the fly, going and going and going; from one place to another, my mind wandering from one thing to the next, never having the chance to really digest and delve into the root of all that was happening. As I thought about it more and more, the words my friend had said to me sunk in, and I began to see the truth of that statement. There was definitely a lot of sin revolving around the issues that my friends have been dealing with, and even in my own attitudes and thoughts, there were unclean thoughts. I had negative feelings towards some people I had come in contact with, had a lot of mixed feelings about certain things, and buried many of my real thoughts and feelings.
As I met up again with this same friend, I uncovered a lot of thoughts and feelings that I didn't realize I had. This talk was very therapeutic for me. My friend asked me questions that provoked me to really think about the underlying meanings of my thoughts and actions. I was also reminded to look into the Bible for help, and truth. So after this meeting, I spent the rest of the day by myself, just trying to relax and recharge. It was really good. Then today, the sermon at church talked about looking to scripture for help and just to always stay connected to it; always go back to it to learn how to live. It reminded me of how much I really needed to read more of God's word and use that to sort out my problems. To go to God and ask him to lift up the burdens I have taken up upon myself from others, and to help cleanse the sin from around me. I need Jesus to do the saving. I am just here to do my role as a servant of Christ and to live my life the way it was intended.
As I go off and start a new week, here are some goals:
- Pray for others instead of worrying
- Bring my problems and issues to God
- Get enough sleep
- Eat at home/cook more
- Meet up with different people for lunch
- Start ecxercising
- Give myself rest time and space to recharge/re-energize
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