A Practical Reminder

 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.


- Matthew 18:15


This was a very meaningful passage for me this week as a reminder that when there is something wrong in my relationships with other people that I should not be afraid to speak the truth. Lots of times it is hard to deal with people because of mis-communications, misconceptions, biases, and assumptions. But sometimes people don't realize what they are doing is wrong, or hurtful, and they just need someone to let them know in a loving way. Telling your friend the truth about what you think of their actions or words can be a difficult thing to do at times because you don't want to hurt their feelings or offend them. But it must be done. Even if it doesn't seem like your friend would be very happy about you telling them that they have done something wrong, it is helping them to grow. A friend should understand that you are not trying to harm them, but that you are only wanting them to grow and they will be more grateful that you told them than pretended that nothing was wrong. 


It is very important to point out another person's faults in a loving way, as well as in private - as the verse emphasizes. Calling someone out on their faults in public can be more harmful than helpful. The accused may feel embarrassed, or feel that they are "losing face". They will not be very happy or welcoming about the accusations, and will be less open to what you have to say. I respect this verse in how much wisdom it gives; it teaches how to avoid bad situations, and it covers other possible situations if talking one on one doesn't play out. 




Lately I have encountered many situations in which I have felt wronged or I see something wrong that is going on. It has been difficult for me to address some of the issues in fear of coming off as offensive or rude, but I try my best to think of the most loving way to talk to those people. An important thing for me is that I have to calm myself down, separate my emotions from the situation, and pray to God to give me patience and the right words to say. Having the comfort that God is here to guide me so long as I obey is very helpful in these situations and I am thankful for Him always being there for me.