jumbled thoughts

im seriously starting to think that everyone thinks (or knows) that there’s something wrong with me. im starting to suspect that i am perhaps not who i think i am. =O  i know. weird. or not. i don’t know…… 

6:45 am: wake to the sound of my cell phone’s alarm

6:50 am: unwillingly climb out of bed

7:00 am: quickly change and brush teeth

7:05 am: leave for the caf.

today is a rainy day… it wasn’t raining this morning when i left my res to go to another building for breakfast… after i got my food, i sat across from this other girl that i had dinner with last night… it seemed like everyone else from dinner (total 6 people including me) was either still asleep or not here yet… so we ate, mostly in silence, and i thought about why she wasn’t really talking to me. i reasoned that she was probably like me, quiet and waiting for the other person to lead the conversation. that is how i am with new people.. unless i can’t stand the awkwardness, i won’t initiate a conversation.. unless they look like they’re in pain, sad, or there’s something interesting to talk about. 

food: was bland. scrambled eggs, sausage, hashbrowns - recipe for a heart attack if i eat this every morning. i hope not. i had to add my own salt/pepper and ketchup since there was no flavour at all in the food. D= the juice was clearly wayyy too diluted, so it was really disgusting. but it was alright for satisfying my thirst.

after we both finished, some other people finally started joining us - they all got an extra few minutes of sleep =( . then there was more conversation and it wasn’t so bad. i’m kind of used to not talking so much… i think i prefer just listening when in groups and stuff.. unless im really interested in the topic / strongly agree/disagree. but i guess with new people it helps to actually talk so they don’t leave you out or have to poke at you haha. 

i mumble a lot. just in general. about everything and anything. i think people think its weird. its sort of like im talking to myself, or just to the open. =/ iono. it helps me to think i guess. oh well. i dont really care. it’s just that i wouldn’t know whether or not to expect a response from people around me, or if i should just tell them to ignore me, cauz then they might not realize it when i actually am trying to engage them in conversation. so…. perhaps i will try to limit my mumbling. 

anyway.. ah.. after breakfast it started raining… and we struggled to find the building where we were going to do our placement tests - to see what level of french we’re at and which class to put us in. we all got soaked! and the room was air conditioned, so it was a bit chilly for my skin, but it made me feel like my arms were bigger today. hehehe 

the written and listening part of the test was pretty easy.. i think i got the majority of the questions….. there was one listening question where i completely guessed, because i didn’t hear the options/sentences. i dropped my pen when the recording was talking. i saw a teeny tiny yellow spider dangling from the tip of my pen .. dropping closer and closer to my hand.. as soon as i noticed it, my hand twitched (quite violently) and i dropped my pen. the girl in the row infront of me had to pick it up and i don’t think the girl next to me saw the spider.  D=  

the interview part of the placement test was a bit … more difficult. the interviewer just asked questions, and there were these pictures i was supposed to look at and respond to him about in sentences. for the first two questions, i only used one word, or a short phrase to reply.. until i remembered that i was supposed to answer in sentences. so i started adding stuff and making my sentences longer. he might think that i’m bad now at speaking/dont know any because i mumbled a bit.. sort of like when i talk to myself o_O and . uh. oh man …. yeah……. oh well. 

it was still raining when i left for my residence…. so i ran most of the way, jumping over puddles and stuff.. i passed by a lady who said “beaucoup d’eau” or something like that… i wasn’t really paying attention and i didn’t realize what language she was speaking in until it registered 3 seconds late. i responded with “yeah………..il pleut beaucoup.” lol oh man….. why do i fail?

when i finally got back to my residence, all wet again….. my shoes too…….. the entrance door was locked. O_O . i pulled on the door a few times, and then tried my room key…… and then i heard a click, but the door still wouldn’t open.. then some guy saw me (one of the program staff - phew) and he helped me and showed me how to use the key (turn half way and then open) T_T i feel like such a noob. 

im the girl who doesn’t know how to open a door. and twitches randomly. mumbles to herself. and oversleeps and wakes up when everything is over… oh dear…