Lost the Drive

I just got back from band practise, and from T&T supermarket. I'm feeling a bit down cauz I don't feel like I have a reason to do anything anymore. Actually, I don't know what my reasons were to begin with. I don't think I really had much of a reason to do anything besides that doing stuff keeps my mind off other things, or just gives me something to do. I learned a bunch of new chords today, and I did it just because I needed to know them for some new songs we're playing... but I didn't feel much motivation. Maybe that's why it takes me forever to do things. Even things that I like. What does that mean anyway? I don't know if I actually like it, or if I'm doing it out of habit, or I'm just used to it. For example, I used to take swimming lessons up until bronze med. and after that I went on a 'break'. It's been 3 years, and I'm still on a 'break'. I haven't even considered continuing since like a year ago? maybe? because I wanted a job? I know there are some things that I do like for sure; snowboarding, hockey, reading, catching/killing bugs, playing with my dog, etc. What about guitar and piano? I do enjoy making music, but why does it seem like I don't want to practise? It takes me so long to start practising (unless I'm feeling musical, yes I have those moments) and  it's not until I start playing that I'm enjoying it. Why can't I get myself to start practising? To want to practise? These are things that I like right? So wanting to or doing them shouldn't be a problem. I think I've lost the drive. I need a push or something. I feel like I'm stuck in the Calm Belt (allusion to One Piece) and I need a sea monster to carry me back to an ocean current.

I was thinking about all this when I was at T&T. I was looking around the bakery, on a mission to find something for breakfast. I noticed this creepy old asian man staring at me. So I stared back. And he wouldn't look away, what a creeper. So I just went the other way.

I think I'm just feeling empty, especially in the middle of me and I think, perhaps - that I'm just hungry.