Jones in the Fast Lane

Today I experienced some nostalgia.

I was talking to my roommate's boyfriend about how I never owned any gaming consoles. He asked me what I played, and I told him that I played this PC game called "Mr. Jones". But the thing about this was that it was more than 10 years ago, before Internet, and before CDs were popular. I was still in the time of floppy and could only access the computer game via the BIOS on the computer when it started up. My dad was a computer science major, so I guess he was trying to get me to code at such a young age. I guess he knew it would become really important to know how to code - but I never really knew what programming was until high school. Anyway, so her boyfriend told me that I could find it online. That everything can be found online, even though I doubted him saying that the game was so old, that they probably just got rid of it when all the other new games came out.

But... he ended up persuading me to look it up online.. and guess what... I found it.

The link is here: http://home.broadpark.no/~kboye/jones/jones.html

Enjoy!

2 Week Daze

It's been two weeks since I first started showing symptoms of being sick. I remember this because it was the day after my circuits midterm. Throughout the whole month of October, I have been slaving away to midterms, studying for hours and hours on end every day. I've been sleeping late trying to squeeze in as much work as I can, and trying to wake up early to make it to my morning classes. So far, I have been really good at staying up late to finish work, but really bad at waking up for classes. I always make the afternoon classes, but it's a hit and miss for those early ones. Never mind, I make up for that by studying every opportunity I get anyway. I end up learning most of the material on my own, from the textbook and from Google.

After my circuits midterm, I was less stressed. That was my last midterm for a while anyway. So I should have been getting proper rest after that right? No...

I realized how behind I was on all my other courses, as I stopped everything to study for my midterms one at a time. By focusing on just the one subject, I fell behind on the others, so I have been studying every moment that I have. So I've been fighting a cold. I started sneezing a lot and getting watery eyes and a runny nose and my friend I was studying with told me that I looked really bad. Then for the next few days, I drank lots of tea, water, took vitamins, and made soup. This started on a Tuesday. By Friday, I was no longer showing any symptoms. So I went to this conference in Toronto, and saw my family. I didn't get much sleep that weekend.

So it was a cycle. Weekdays I would be sick and power-up on vitamins. Weekends I would be better but still not sleep enough. Then I get sick again. But it didn't get so bad that I couldn't think. It was good enough that I could take medicine and feel completely better. But this week I'm still sniffling even though I took medicine and vitamins. It's getting harder for me to focus and I do not feel 100%.

So moral of the story (TL;DR); get your rest right away and don't party (ok I didn't party, but I just didn't sleep enough).



This weekend I took one day off. One FULL DAY without doing any school related work. I went to London to visit some friends and play in the snow. It was awesome. I came back, rested 12 hours, and now need to get completely better and POWER THROUGH FINALS.

Point to Him

I listened to this sermon today - He is the Point of it All - Ken Taylor


I have two midterms tomorrow. I was not prepared at all when I woke up this morning, so I decided not to go to church physically, but to have church at home. I did my own praise and then listened to the sermon above. It was good. Ken talked about who John the Baptist was and his role. His job was to point out the Messiah when he appeared - and he would know Him by seeing the Holy Spirit come down from heaven and rest on Him. And it did. It came down and rested on Jesus. So John the Baptist fulfilled his purpose by pointing him out to us.

Likewise, we also, are the John the Baptists of this day and age. We are the ones who's duty it is to point out the Saviour, Jesus to the rest of those who do not know him yet.

So I've been thinking. Yes, I am really swamped with school and I am super stressed out. I have been so "busy" with my studies that I haven't been able to spend time in community with a lot of my brothers and sisters in Christ. I have been neglecting my relationships, only caring half heartedly when talking to them because my brain is so overused from studying. I used up all my focus energy on studying, that I've lost all of what it takes to sympathize and empathize and think about the person all together. So basically, I've been a bad friend. I haven't been there for a lot of people. Today, I realized that I really needed to talk to someone again. But the funny thing is - I couldn't think of anyone I could talk to. I couldn't because I still had a lot to study, so time was a limiting factor, but also, nobody would want to talk to me because I haven't been there for them. So in essence, they found a way to not need me. And now I am on my own. So I thought, how can I get something that I don't deserve? Huh. That sounds familiar. Getting something I don't deserve sounds like the definition of grace. And grace comes from God.

Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."


I need grace. I need Jesus. It seems like everything is pointing to Him. So why aren't I?

Overcomer - Mandisa

Where I've Made My Home

Today was hard for me. I got to see many of my old friends that I haven't been in touch with for three and a half years now. It was hard because I was happy to see them but so much has happened that we weren't around to experience with each other that it seems like we don't really know each other anymore. As I am typing this I am beginning to feel like this is a really petty thing to be upset about and that I'm just stupid.

I finally got a job back home, so after two and a half years of living in another city, I am going to come home. But it doesn't feel like I'm coming home. Maybe it's because I've invested so much in my community here now that I'm going to miss it. Maybe it's because i feel like I'm actually living my life here; I make my own choices, do my own things, and its me who chose to be here, who chose to do the things I did and make the friends I made. Maybe its because I have a history of avoiding the past; and coming home will remind me of the past and I'm afraid to face it.

It'd be different if I went to another country. If I got that job in Singapore, I would expect to feel out of place and I'm fine with that. I would be moving forward, taking on adventures in a new place, and spending time discovering more about myself while seeing the world.

But no, for some reason, God is sending me home. I've made my life too comfortable now, and now I am going to be uprooted so I can grow. This should be a good thing and I know that I should have hopes and be excited and happy but maybe that will come in my next post. Today, I just want to express my anxieties and let the stresses out.

I don't want to come home because I will miss the place I now call home, and the people there. I don't want to come home because I know it will be hard to rekindle my relationships with friends who haven't left. I am afraid. I'm not very good at being social. I want to blame it on being an engineering student, but I know that there's more to it than that. I'm lazy. I have to put effort into remembering things about people, I have to care about them, I have to start over, basically. I hate making new friends, small talk, and sometimes being with people. No, that's not true. I think I like thinking that I don't like being with people because its a good excuse to make me feel better about being bad at having friends. I just don't want to face the reality that I'm, a really bad friend and I'm avoiding improvement because I don't want to change. I want things to change but I don't want to change myself. Isn't that ridiculous?

Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. What do I want? What am I willing to do to get what I want? What's the point?

I am sorry to anyone reading this because this post sucks. Please come back for my next post and I really do hope that it is my jolly one where I make a bunch of realizations and have motivation to change and see my next term in a better light.

Blinding Light

Blinding Light - Switchfoot (Original)    Remix with Owl City

Hey boy, don't believe them
Their old lies never could come true
Hey boy, don't believe them
Everything that they told you to
Hey boy, don't believe them
We're the nation that eats our youth
Hey boy, don't believe them
None of us are bulletproof
Yeah

Deep down there's a boy inside
Asleep, waiting for the sun to rise
Wake up, wake up

Still looking for the blinding light
Still looking for the reason why
Still looking for the sun to shine
Take me higher and higher
All my life I've been living in the darkest night
Still looking for the blinding light
To take me higher and higher

Hey girl, be yourself now
Don't believe what they told you to
Hey girl, be yourself now
Your skin's more than a pin-up suit
Hey girl, don't conform now
No one else's got soul like you
Hey girl, you're a strong one
But none of us are bulletproof
Yeah

Deep down there's a hope inside
You got wings but you're scared to fly
Wake up, wake up

Still looking for the blinding light
Still looking for the reason why
Still looking for the sun to shine
Take me higher and higher
All my life I've been living in the darkest night
Still looking for the sun to shine
Take me higher and higher