Use Your Heart

Random thought: Should I buy a harmonica? (...and learn to play it?) I was listening to this song (Heart of Gold - Neil Young) that I was introduced to by one of my team leaders when I went on missions and he played it with me while we were jamming and it sounded pretty cool. They're pretty cheap - you can find them for $10 bucks for a cheap beginner one. So why not? One more instrument learned and it seems like something that is easy to pick up (lightweight, small) and practice when I'm bored.

In this song, Neil Young is searching for a heart of gold. Someone who has a heart of gold is someone who is very pure and good. As some online dictionaries put it, someone with a heart of gold is a "genuinely kind and caring person" (usingenglish.com/reference/idioms), "someone valued for their goodness" (dictionary.com).

At the summer English camp I taught at, one of the theme songs was Proud of You, by Fiona Fung. The pre-chorus goes like this:

"Hold me up Hold me tight

Lift me up to touch the sky

Teaching me to love with heart

Helping me open my mind"

"Teaching me to love with heart" - Sometimes people don't love with their hearts. Literally speaking, a heart is just an organ (or a muscle) that pumps blood through your veins. But perhaps one could combine the meaning of a heart of gold with learning to love with heart. Can we love each other with pure and genuine hearts? 

How can we use our hearts? Physically, this does not seem possible. But if we were go venture into the metaphorical realm again, your heart pumps blood through your whole body, and we don't really need to do anything for it to pump blood. It just naturally does it. So maybe that's how we should love others; genuinely and naturally. If we can learn to become like Jesus, to have an open mind (like the song continues) about different people and cultures, then perhaps we can attain a heart of gold. When we develop ourselves, when we develop our hearts into one that is of gold, loving with heart will be the byproduct.

Cloudy Tension

I love the imagery in saying that you can "feel the tension in the clouds". I thought of that today as I was walking to the bus stop after work. It felt really heavy and humid out, the sky was grey but still light, and you could smell the oncoming rain. I think it's really cool that our human body has the ability to sense these kinds of things. I like that we have these sorts of instincts. To know when something is about to happen. To feel it in your bones. Some people may think that the word tension has a negative connotation to it, but I feel that this kind of tension is a good thing! I like it. It suggests that it is intense, and that something great is about to happen - like an intense downpour of rain!

I can relate this feeling of tension in the clouds to my preparation for missions. I feel like this whole term so far has been about that. Preparations. Building up slowly to the climax which is the mission itself. I am excited to see what God is going to pour down on me when I go! Perhaps this mission trip might make increase the tension for something even greater - who knows!

I have been learning a lot about time management and how precious time is through my busy schedule. There are so many things that I am involved in that I want to stay involved in but it takes a toll on my physical body. I've been feeling very tired lately, and I realized that I become more zombie-like earlier and earlier as the days go by. Although I am happily enjoying the activities I have going on; travelling from one place to another, meeting up with different people, planning events, just chilling, eating, etc., I also realize that I have been sacrificing proper rest to be able to accomplish so many things. 

To give a picture of how badly I really need this rest, I will describe what happened today. Today I had a bunch of things going on that I wanted to do. I had work and went straight to meet up with my club execs to plan out the coming weeks (as I will be away) and discuss exec things. After that, I was supposed to meet a friend to catch up on life. I had about a 45 minute gap between the two meetings, so I went home after the first meeting to pick up my laptop on my way to the second meeting. But when I got home, I realized that I still had about 15 minutes before I had to leave the house, so I set a timer for 10 minutes and decided to take a power nap. I woke up an hour later realizing that I was about an hour late to meet my friend! 

I totally passed out! I missed my alarm and everything. I already felt tired when I woke up this morning, and the tiredness came in waves every few hours. I guess this was a big wave. Anyway, I realized that I really need my rest (and I'm not doing a good job of it now, as it is quite late and I am here typing this) and also that if I didn't have that 1 hour nap then I wouldn't have been able to properly function and have a valuable meeting with my friend. Our conversation was really refreshing in that I learned a lot about how God has been working in her life and it gave me motivation for my mission. I am so glad that God has control in my and her life and that He knows what He is doing.

Unfailing Love - Chris Tomlin

Tumbling After

I absolutely love this song by Starfield. Really. It describes completely my journey with Christ - how I came to know Him so slowly, gradually, but surely. It may have taken me a while to let the truth finally hit my heart and let the depth of it just sink into my soul. It may have been the 100th time that I've had to hear the same message before I actually believed it to be true for myself. But the beauty of it is that in all of this, God has always been there the whole time. When most people would walk away, He stayed. When I was close but not fully there, He would push me forward. There really is nothing more beautiful than the joy that I've experienced through knowing Christ. I would keep rambling on but the lyrics in this song will probably speak my thoughts better than I can explain.

Tumbling After - Starfield

The other day while I was driving home my world was shaken
It occurred to me that I had left too many risks untaken
I'm always sitting here just waiting for a revelation
Is it ever gonna come?

All this searching yet my destiny is still unfound
Makes me realize this world will always let me down
So it seems that the only hope I ever had
Was everything that You are

I'm falling down
Tumbling after You
I'm overwhelmed
Tripping over simple truth
In all I've found
There's nothing that's more beautiful
Than what I've found in You

You could always see right through the front I'd offer You
Not believing my excuses, waiting for the truth
When You could have turned Your back
And walked away from me
You, You picked me up instead

So we'll turn another page and change the way I look at You
And maybe I'll begin to understand what You went through
Not content to leave me wandering and unaware
You took my hand instead
Yeah, You led me to the edge

You're everything that I ever needed
Now I wanna believe this time
That You would love me
That You would say I'm Yours, I'm Yours, I'm Yours