Just a Thought

Sometimes being a good friend doesn't mean always giving in to what they want and letting them have everything they ask for. Sometimes being a good friend means pushing each other and being patient with them in their struggles and growth. Sometimes keeping them happy in a way that doesn't also make you happy isn't a good thing. Sure, friends sacrifice things for each other, but when it's only a one way street then I'm not sure what it really says about the friendship. Maybe I just need a better understanding of the different types of people out there and their needs. Maybe even the little things that I don't care too much about, even if it's something small that I disagree with, maybe I should voice my opinion. Instead of keeping my thoughts to myself I should let them know of my preferences or thoughts so that they will know more about me that way. Instead of just always agreeing with them, I can voice my opinions and still choose to go along with whatever they prefer. At least they would know and I wouldn't have to feel bad. I don't know where I'm going with this. Just a vomiting out a bunch of thoughts on my mind.

I have been reading Amos still! I'm on chapter 8 now.

My last exam is tomorrow. Maybe I'm just feeling a bit down right now because the exam I had today didn't go so well and I wanted to do something with my friends today but they didn't feel the same way, so I didn't push them. It's okay. I guess. I set up time for them and they knew about it and I thought they were on board. But in the end they just flopped and I guess they didn't really care about or didn't know that I just wanted to spend time with them. haha. Maybe I perceive us to be better friends than they do.

Giving Up

I am not somebody who gives up easily. I always try my best and keep going at it until something happens. I am usually an optimistic person, always hoping that the best will happen, although I entertain what the worst thing could happen, and in that way, I "prepare" myself (mentally) for the worst.

Lately, I have not been feeling that way. I have 5 midterms coming up next week and I have been studying for many many hours on end this past week. I don't have much time left to study and learn what I need to know before my midterms... They are approaching much too soon and I fear that I am not ready for them. I feel like giving up.

But something inside me knows that I don't let myself give up. Even if I say to myself that I'm going to stop and just let it be, I know that tomorrow I will go out there again and keep trying.

Ugh. Why do I do this to myself? Put myself through so much stress and torture when I could just not care, and give up. I feel like the fact that I don't like leaving things unfinished and the fact that I like challenges causes me so much stress. But it will be worth it in the end - that is what I always tell myself.


I finished reading Joel yesterday. I haven't posted for two days. Been busy trying to catch up with school work and trying to fit in activities that will "balance" my life out so I'm not depressed. Today I will read Amos 1.

Background

Background - Lecrae Lyrics below:

I could play the background
I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead

It's evident you run the show, so let me back down
You take the leading role, and I'll play the background
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I'm sticking to your script, and I'm reading all your signs
I don't need my name in lights, I don't need a starring role
Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just going lose my soul
And my ways ain't pure if I don't live according to Your Word
I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard
So word, to every dancer for a pop star
'Cause we all play the background, but mine's a rockstar
Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right
Praying the whole world will start embracing stage fright
So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions
'Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessing
That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact
I'm who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar

I had a dream that I was captain of my soul
I was master of my fate, lost control, and then I sank
So I don't want to take the lead, 'cause I'm prone to make mistakes
All these folks who follow me, gon' end up in the wrong place
So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
'Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed
And no longer trust in you, 'cause I only trust in me
And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing
You pulled my card, I'm bluffing, You know what's in my hand
Me, I just roll and trust you, You cause the dice to land
I'm in control of nothing, follow you at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
Man, I'm so at ease, I'm so content
I'll play the background, like it's an instrument

I know I'm safest when I'm in Your will, and trust Your Word
I know I'm dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred
And I ain't got no time to play life's foolish games
Got plenty aims, but do they really Glorify Your name
And it's a shame, the way I want to do these things for You, yeah
Don't even cling to you, take time to sit and glean from You
It seems You were patient in my ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, it's 'cause she never heard of this


Joel 2 today

Raccoon Boys

Have I mentioned them yet? They're three really cute boys who sing, play guitar, and rap. Oh, and they also look like raccoons.  Originally they auditioned for K-PopStar individually, or the rapper with a partner, but they got put together by one of the judges. So far this mix has been working out really well!

Listen to their first song together here: Thriller Cover - Raccoon Boys

Second: Like This Cover - Raccoon Boys

Third: Run Devil Run Cover - Raccoon Boys


Call me obsessed, but they're really good! And they're like 18-19 year olds!



Joel 1 today!

Fair Weather Friend

Fair Weather Friend - Tim Be Told


So here's my heart, I said with confidence
But now it's good as dead, it's emptiness
Abuse my need for you; It never ends
Diffuse the bombs you blew, you'll never bend

You fake it to make it, if it's half the truth I'll take it
Your useless excuses are the very things I'm through with

Farewell my fair-weather friend
I'm leaving what I lose behind
You thought you'd win in the end
But I figured out the clues in time
To face the music of your fickle heart defined
Farewell my fair-weather friend, goodbye

I gave it all I could; It's such a shame
But now my love's no good, It's all a game




Reading the whole book of Obadiah today! (Only one chapter)

Ski trip day 1/2

Oops! I thought I wrote stuff in this on my phone while I was on vacation (at a ski resort), but it turns out that only the title got posted and everything I wrote got lost.

Sorry about that! I noticed that a few people went to this post only to be disappointed by the lack of words.


My ski trip was really good! I really missed going snowboarding and after two years of not going, I finally went! Oh man! It was my first time going to such a big hill (the biggest in Ontario) and I tried to learn a few beginner tricks too! This was a much needed trip for me as I really needed to get away from this little town that I have been trapped in and get some fresh air and exercise!

This is me all geared up and ready to go!

Such a perfect day with perfect weather and snow to go boarding in.

Me with my board at the top waiting to go down the bump to try jumping.

These guys were taking a very long time... They were from some group and kept walking back up the hill to go down the bump again.. 

So I waited a while... but then eventually just went because they were hogging the bump and my friends were waiting for me.

I only managed to land once out of the four times I tried going down the bump. I went on a box too for the first time! It's cool because it helps to build speed and then you fly off a bit but landing is a bit tricky.. I still need practice! All in all a very good day. I am so sore now though haha. 

I read Philippians 4 over this weekend >< I will continue to read a new book tonight.

Rough Times are the Good Times

Sweet boys are sweet. Today the guys in my class gave out zip-lock bags with Hershey Kisses in them and a Valentine card to all the girls in my class. It was a really thoughtful and nice thing for them to do. Try to keep the girls in the class, haha.

Today I had a lot of stuff happening too. I woke up late, missed my morning class, but it was ok because I had back to back interviews during that time anyway, so I would have missed out either way. They just had presentations and my group already presented so it's all good. I locked myself out of my room too. My jacket was in my room, with my phone, keys, and wallet. I had my backpack with me and I was dressed for the interview. So I panicked for a few seconds, then borrowed a jacket from my housemate and went to school. My interviews went okay.

After class, we had a team meeting to finish up the written report for our group project. We had a good last team meeting and we even went out to dinner together, to celebrate the hard work we did. I never really talked to these classmates before or cared to know them more, but I realized that it was good to make friends with different types of people and I learned that I can have fun with them too. They were really nice to me and good people too. We even went to the library together after to work on an assignment for another class that is due tomorrow. They made sure that I was able to get home okay at the end of the night too.

I'm starting to really like my classmates. I never really cared about them before, but now I'm beginning to see that maybe something good can come out of this. Maybe God will use me here and fruitful things can happen. I think today was a good day, even though people seem to think that being single on Valentine's day is a bad thing and you should be sad. But I find that it doesn't matter what your status is. Today is just like any other day, we should always show love to others and treat people well.

There will always be dramatic things that happen, but those are the times that you will look back on and laugh at, the times that you will remember and know that you had a good time. It's exciting when problems arise, even though they seem bad at that moment, I think that if you know that you're going to make it - it won't be so bad anymore. You'll start to see the light in everything and realize that sometimes you should just take it easy. Rough times are the good times.

This Life - MercyMe

Philippians 3 today. 

I Know You

This is such a beautiful song. New band I discovered =)  You can check out their website here.

I Know You - Bellarive  Their lyrics below:


Dry your eyes
I see you
Come inside the doorway
Don't you hide, My child
Place your hand in Mine

I know, I know you
I know you know I love you
I know, I know you
My grace invites you
Home

Life nor death will keep you
You don't have to fear
Nothing comes between us
In the end you're Mine
You'll be just fine
You're Mine
In the end you're Mine

I know, I know you
I know you know I love you
I know, I know you
(You know me, yes, You know me)
My grace invites you
(Your grace, it invites me)

You can find out the meaning behind this song, for the writer here.

Philippians 2 today.

Prioritizing Basic Needs

Today I was talking to my friend about plastic surgery; especially how society views beauty and how "normal" has changed over the years. It's interesting because without other people's opinions, without the media and influence from societies, many things that seem to be problems wouldn't have been problems. No one would care that you didn't have double eyelids, for example. No one would care if you didn't have a six pack or if you had a uni-brow. The sad reality is that developed countries such as the North American ones care more about physical beauty, money, and ourselves than anything.

If our society didn't have a standardized view of what physical beauty should look like, then everyone involved in the beauty industry (whether they be plastic surgeons, cosmetic companies, make up artists) could divert their skills and resources toward more pressing issues, such as helping developing countries grow their economy and help their citizens sustain themselves. I've realized how selfish our society has become. I take a lot of things for granted - fresh water, clean air, food, shelter; I can pick and choose what I want to do, how I want to dress, what to eat.

Our society spends so much time focusing on problems like which smartphone to get, complain about how the luxurious things we have aren't up to par and we only think about ourselves. We only want to improve our own quality of life. We want the best of everything and we're ok with letting people starve and be without basic necessities as long as we can't see them or don't have to interact with them.

There is such a big gap between well-developed countries and the developing ones. Studies have shown that right now we have all the resources we need to be able to feed everyone living on the planet - but still, there are so many people who go without on a daily basis. Why? Because our culture, the people who live in abundance and luxury don't care about anyone other than themselves and their friends. We just want to have better things and at what cost? The more we focus on ourselves and better ourselves, we are only furthering ourselves from reaching that idealistic view of fairness and equity between countries throughout the earth. Shouldn't everyone on earth be able to have access to clean drinking water, to food, shelter, clothing, and comfort? Why are we so concerned over ourselves when there are bigger issues at stake? Are we really making the most out of our time and resources?

It seems that our society has different priorities. It seems that we are more concerned about our physical appearances than the life of someone who has no home. This makes me sad. My friend pointed out that perhaps sometime in the future people will have to start paying for air. Think about it for a bit. The basic necessities for human life are food, clean water, shelter, clothing and love. But we failed to mention that air is also a basic necessity for human life. This is something that has been taken for granted. We sometimes don't recognize air as a basic necessity because we simply can not see it and because it is free.

Water used to be free. It used to be that you could just fetch water from a well and drink it without needing to pay anybody. But now people have become convinced that tap and fountain water isn't clean. People started buying and selling water.  What about air? Well at the rate that we are polluting the earth with all the technological trinkets that humans have managed to develop over the years, it wouldn't be shocking for me to predict that perhaps some 1000 years down the road, the air would be too polluted to breathe. People would start designing air purification systems and selling air in tanks. It would become normal for humans to walk around with an oxygen tank trailing behind them. People would pay to stay alive.

Basic necessities that everyone should have rights to are becoming things that come at a cost. Nobody should have to pay to stay alive (and I mean minimum requirements). So if the time comes that people will have to pay for air, what are the poor and developing countries going to do? Will they die out because they can not afford to pay for air and technology to purify air?


If you're into environmental issues, I've been told to check out this movie: The Lorax, it's about the extinction of trees. I haven't watched it yet but I will when exams are over!

Let it Grow (from the Lorax)

Day to Do Nothing

I have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of studying to catch up on. But today just doesn't seem to want to help that. Not that I wasn't productive. I got a lot of paper work done for my living arrangement next year. I had a group meeting after class and prepared for a presentation tomorrow. I also had a meeting with my hopefully future business partner and we got a lot done.

I am tired. Today has been an exhaustive day. Maybe I will work on school tomorrow. =) It's good to take a break every now and then and just focus on something else.


Remix of John Lennon's Imagine  I heard this coming out of a car with really loud speakers while waiting for the bus a few days ago.


Titus 3 today. End of Titus!  Here is an excerpt that I think really reminds me of how I should behave and reminds me of what the Gospel is and how I can share with my friends that it's not doing good deeds that will bring you to heaven, but by being saved by God's kindness (verses 4-7).



"Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.

 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned. (Titus 3:1-11, NIV)"

Hell week soon...

Read Titus 2 today. Long day. Back in Waterloo...

Have so much stuff to prepare for this week... Need to sleep...


Here is a song by Phil Wickham - You're Beautiful

lyrics below:

Mahjong? Abandon Studies!

Happy Lunar New Year!!

Today was a fun-filled day with my family; eating dimsum, getting my new spectacles (glasses), playing in the snow with my dog and sister, feasting on Chinese foods, playing mahjong, and catching up with my family. Good family time is good.

Also, this song has been stuck in my head all day. This version is a cover by Walk Off the Earth ft. KRNFX.

Titus 1 today.


Ps. Have you ever wondered how they number a new building? For example, if a street already has buildings numbered 1, 2, 3 ...n (n being the number of existing buildings), and they build a new building somewhere between 1 and n, what would the street address of that new building be? What number? They can't change the address of all existing buildings that come after it because that's too inefficient and confusing. So what happens? 

Somebody Tell Them

Heard this song on the radio on my way home today. New song is a good song.

Somebody Tell Them - City Harbour


There's a child on the subway
His story is written on his face
And the pain he's felt, is enough to fill a lifetime
But he doesn't know any other way

Somebody tell him that the lost are saved
Somebody tell him that his debt's been paid
And let him know, love is calling out his name
Somebody tell him, he's a child of the king
And there is an end to this suffering
And hope that never fades, through grace that's made a way
Somebody tell him, somebody tell him now.

You can see it on the TV
Or in the middle of a crowded room
There's a sea of broken hearts, that are longing
To be washed away by an ocean of truth

Too many times we've all held back
The truth from those put in our path
So let us be the voice of love to them
Somebody tell them somebody tell them now
Somebody tell them somebody tell them now



Jonah 3&4 today, and done!!!

Jonah

Today I read Jonah chapters 1 and 2.

If It Hadn't Been for Love

Today was my first small group of the term! This is my second time leading a small group, and a first with non-believers. We did a Bible study on Luke 5:1-11, about the calling of the first disciples. I think it was about the sixth time that I had done this study and despite that, I am glad to say that I think it was very fruitful. We discussed some topics that I had never really thought much about before and it was very interesting!

I think for me, this last verse was what stuck out to me the most,

"Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him." (Luke 5:10-11)

What would it take for you to leave everything and follow Jesus? This was one of the questions that came up during our discussion. Some of the responses that my group members said were really interesting as well. They said things like; "He would have to die and raise back to life for me to believe and want to follow him", "He would have to prove his love to me, a love that is worth more than any other love that I have", "He would have to provide and care for me, be someone that I could trust my life and rely on", "He would have to offer me a better life".

The depth of the answers that were generated from this one question amazed me. For Simon Peter, all Jesus had to do for him to leave all he had behind and follow him was to show him a miracle - to catch more fish than they could carry in the most unlikely of situations. That was enough to convince Simon Peter and his fellow fishermen (James and John) that Jesus was someone worth following and leaving everything behind for. 

For some reason, the responses that I got from my small group really reminded me of this song If It Hadn't Been for Love - Steeldrivers (or you can hear Adele's version). The lyrics talk about all the crazy things you would never have done if it hadn't been for love. It seems like there's something about love that attracts people automatically toward it. Love seems to carry a lot of worth, whether it was back in Peter and Jesus' time, or now, in the 21st century. What can you gain more than love, if love isn't enough for you to trade everything else for?


I read Philemon today. It only has one chapter, it is a letter from Paul to a slave owner, kindly pleading with him to take his former slave, Onesimus back as a dear brother.

Remind Me Who I Am

I really like this video because it emphasizes on the difference between how we look at ourselves and how God looks at us. No matter how much of a failure we may feel like, or how useless and unloved we feel, our heavenly Father always looks on us with love and wishes for us to see ourselves in that same way. Even though we may suffer hardships now and then, God is always there with us and He wants us to keep our spirits strong so that we may continue the work that He has let us take part in.

Remind Me Who I Am - Jason Gray

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.




Today I read the whole book of Ruth (4 chapters).

The Lord is Real

I love these guys. Blackstreet. They have such smooth voices. Ahh!

The Lord is Real - Blackstreet, Lyrics below

Job 40-42 today. This is the end of Job!

Give Me Your Eyes

Today at church a girl approached me to sit with her during service. It was clear to me that she had some sort of mental disability and at first I was a bit taken back and unsure of what to do. On one hand, I was afraid of her because I had worked with people similarly to her before and I knew that they were capable of being very physical and aggressive, without meaning to. I was afraid that she might lash out at me or something. But on the other hand, I knew that she was at church and that there was something God wanted to show me. I knew that it wasn't a coincidence that she approached me. I knew how it felt to be lonely and it seemed like she was alone, perhaps it has been like that for too long. So my friend and I sat with her.

During praise time she leaned onto me as I stood and she sat. I felt compelled to put my arm around her and when I did, all I could feel was a wave of sadness flowing from her into me. I didn't understand where it was coming from. I just felt really sad and tears started to stream down my face. I think she was really sad and the physical act of me touching her did something to transfer some of that to me. One other thing that struck me and made me feel sad was when we were singing the lines "my chains are gone, I've been set free" in the song Amazing Grace My Chains Are Gone. She was singing along with the congregation up until this point. I was sitting with her at this time, as she requested. As we got to that line and finished it, she started shaking her head sideways and said "no", as if she was saying, "no, this is not the truth for me". I don't really know where to go from here. I really hope that one day she will be able to smile and sing that line as if it were part of her testimony. I'm glad God gave me this experience today, for showing me that I need to be more compassionate and for revealing to me how much hurt there still is in this world.

Give Me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath , lyrics below

Your Love is Strong

God has been doing such amazing things in my life. I feel like this term He has been pushing me and challenging me to really go out there and reach others, those who don't know Him yet. I also feel like He has really been so present in my life, maybe because I am trying to seek Him in the everyday, trying to find a glimpse of Him. He never fails to do so either. It's really true, as seen many times in the Bible (Deuteronomy 4:29, Jeremiah 29:13, Matthew 7:7, Luke 11:9) where it says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart".

I'm so amazed by what God is doing right now. I feel like what He is doing right now is the most significant thing that's happened to me, but I think I probably just feel like that because I'm living it right now. There have probably been many times in the past where I've thought, "this is the most amazing thing that God has ever done for me", but it just keeps getting better. I don't know why I keep getting so surprised each time I set out to seek God, when He always shows up. God is good.

Your Love is Strong - Jon Foreman (Switchfoot), lyrics below

Tears Bring Joy

Tears stream down people's faces for different reasons, more often out of sadness than out of joy. But for me, I feel like I've been experiencing more joyful tears than sad tears. And all praise to God for that.

There's something genuine about the story when people break down while sharing. When people share about what's been happening in their lives, they talk and talk and then usually come to some sort of conclusion about how they saw God working in their suffering. I love hearing those stories. Those are the real heart wrenching stories that make the story-teller tear up and everyone listening feels on the verge too. OH man. It's crazy. Wow. It just makes me smile so much when I hear about and watch the face of the person talking. When it goes from a sad beginning, to the depths of suffering they were in, then the realization of how God was part of that and how He brought them out of suffering and into joy. It's just so heart warming and soul grabbing. Watching people around me grow and watching the way they speak with so much conviction because of their testimony. Dang. Testimonies are so powerful.

For me, it's especially nice when tears stream down someone's face because it means that the message they received through whatever experience really meant that much to them. It hit them hard. They got to experience a whole new level of God's love - and that only gets deeper each time. I love it. It's so genuine and so raw. I think it's at that point - when they're tearing up or you can see them trying to hold it back; that's the climax of the story - where they're just about to share the most significant thing that has happened to them during the whole suffering. Finally, we get to the part where God's presence is revealed and that person is so drenched and buried in His love, that is so awesome to see. I am so glad to be in a community of brothers and sisters who care for each other and are not afraid to share with one another how God has changed them and how He has been doing good things in each and every one of our lives. Wow. I am filled with so much joy.

I got to hear a lot of real life struggles and people's real stories about how God has shown them His love and how God has convicted their hearts to want to show that love they have seen to others; to those who do not know God. I am so honoured to be part of this community of servants who want nothing more but to spread the word of God's love and forgiveness to all. Just hearing about how everyone has been trying to bring people to meet Jesus and how they are being bolder and bolder also encourages me to be bold too. At first I was afraid to go and try to tell people about Jesus and how much joy He brings me, but now that I'm not alone, I no longer have to be afraid, for I know that God is with me and gave me these friends to walk the path with me. God is good.

Second Chance - Hillsong


Job 34 & 35 today.

Rooibos

A very yummy tea. It's a red tea that originated from some plants in South Africa. It's naturally sweet and nothing needs to be added to it (no milk). So good on a cold day.

It's snowing like crazy outside and I can only anticipate how much snow there will be in the morning! Time to pull out my new boots and try them on! Yay! My old boots have holes in them and my socks keep getting wet. These new boots are heavy duty, so I've been wearing my old ones instead... But tomorrow I might get to wear them! Yay for dry socks!!

Job 32 & 33 today.