For quite some time now, I've had this song stuck in my head - wherever I went, I would be humming this song to myself, or whenever I'm alone, these lyrics were running through my head..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joj_7pjfa18 - Silence, by Jars of Clay
As you could probably tell from some of my earlier posts, I've been having a pretty stressful week. Although I don't usually fully express myself sometimes, I guess my subconscious was shouting out to God for help, to give me patience with my group for the group project, and just to bring Him back into the centre of my life again. My heart was crying out to Him, wondering where He is, wanting to feel His love again.
I kept praying for God to help me get through this busy week and not to take the fact that I've been getting rejected from lots of jobs and feeling neglected from my group personally. But the truth is that I haven't been totally alone this week, I haven't been left to deal with all the things that have been bothering me on my own.
I know this because today started out alright, I was reluctant to get out of bed (as usual), I fell asleep in this class I've been skipping a lot of (at least I was physically there this time), and then I had group work. Group work is a funny thing, especially when you're the only one working. I worked on the project during two different time intervals today, once with the group, and once without. The first time was very frustrating, as the manufacturing process was going by really slowly and inefficiently, and I am someone who likes to be productive, and multitask - since it gets things done faster, and less time is wasted. But it seemed like no one else was thinking the same way; when I tried to do a task that could be done at the same time as another task (in parallel), my group stopped me and said that they wanted to do everything one step at a time, to ensure that nothing would go wrong. Inside I knew that nothing would go wrong - because what I wanted to do had to be done anyway, and the step they were working on wouldn't have to be completed in order to continue anyway. I felt so useless just sitting there doing nothing, especially when there were plenty of things that I could have done to help the project move along at a faster pace, since the due date was fast approaching.
The second time I went to work on the project was when I was working on it alone, for the most part. It was already pretty well into the evening when I started working, so my other group members were already tired and didn't want to work - which worked out for me since I got to work at my own pace, and pretty much got to finally take control and do more hands-on work. I had a good time working with the machinery and then sanding down the wooden pieces. Although I was a bit frustrated that I was the only one who seemed to really care about the project enough to go back and work on it again, I still had a good time working at the shop because of some of my classmates that God blessed me with. They helped me out with anything that I needed help with, joked around with me so that I wouldn't think about being angry or frustrated, and they really did help to turn my day around. Although they left before I did, I was still feeling good and was just slightly worried about the other assignment that I had to finish for tomorrow.
Which is a funny thing, because I was kind of annoyed by the fact that there were no free computers to do my assignment on at the computer lab in the building that I was in, so I had to walk to another building to find a room with free computers that had the software I needed to use. Then I bumped into one of my friends from my fellowship and just seeing another familiar face made me happy and it really reminded me of how much God cared about me - that He would give me friends to comfort me while I'm frustrated, to keep me company and to give me motivation to finish my other assignment. Just seeing my friends when I'm not feeling the best really does give me a mental boost and makes me happy since I got to see them and then I don't feel so bad anymore.
It gets even better. I spent a very long time trying to figure out how to do my assignment that's due tomorrow. I had a hard time keeping up during the previous lecture, so I wasn't really really prepared to do the assignment. Surprisingly, I was able to maintain focus and my brain was able to quickly think of other solutions or substitutions that would still get me to the final product (finished assignment). Again, God showed me just how perfect His timing was - not just bumping into friends but just as I finally figured out and completed my assignment, the lights in the lab room flickered on and off once, and the janitor declared that it was closing time. Awed by the awesomeness of God's timing, I quickly printed out my assignment and packed up to go. As I was getting ready to leave the lab, this song started to play from my phone (I was listening to my phone on shuffle while working):
http://youtu.be/a3CZIoJZ56Y - "Have You Ever" by Shawn McDonald.
I was so glad that I had gotten a lot of work done on my project, and also finished my assignment that I struggled with for so long. I was happy that my classmates were there with me when I was working on my project, and that I got to see my friend from fellowship and also another friend that lives in my building but I hadn't seen in a very long time. God never fails to show me how deep His love is for me - there is no bottom to it. Like the song sings, "I have tasted of a love so wide, that it stops all my time. I have tasted of a love so deep, that it blows my mind." God is so good to me, so good, to someone who is so unworthy of love, someone who makes so many mistakes, that I just can't help but to love Him back and smile.
Here are the lyrics to Have You Ever; I hope it means as much to you as it does to me!
Have you ever wanted to be someone else
Have you ever wanted just to be someone
Have you ever wanted to reach your dreams
Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems
Chorus:
I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind
Have you ever wanted to reach up and touch the sky
Have you ever wanted to pack it up and say good-bye
Have you ever wanted someone to care
Have you ever wanted someone to be there
He is sweet, He is sweet
What you're looking for
Is my sweet, sweet Jesus
What you're looking for
Is my sweet Lord
- Shawn McDonald
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joj_7pjfa18 - Silence, by Jars of Clay
As you could probably tell from some of my earlier posts, I've been having a pretty stressful week. Although I don't usually fully express myself sometimes, I guess my subconscious was shouting out to God for help, to give me patience with my group for the group project, and just to bring Him back into the centre of my life again. My heart was crying out to Him, wondering where He is, wanting to feel His love again.
I kept praying for God to help me get through this busy week and not to take the fact that I've been getting rejected from lots of jobs and feeling neglected from my group personally. But the truth is that I haven't been totally alone this week, I haven't been left to deal with all the things that have been bothering me on my own.
I know this because today started out alright, I was reluctant to get out of bed (as usual), I fell asleep in this class I've been skipping a lot of (at least I was physically there this time), and then I had group work. Group work is a funny thing, especially when you're the only one working. I worked on the project during two different time intervals today, once with the group, and once without. The first time was very frustrating, as the manufacturing process was going by really slowly and inefficiently, and I am someone who likes to be productive, and multitask - since it gets things done faster, and less time is wasted. But it seemed like no one else was thinking the same way; when I tried to do a task that could be done at the same time as another task (in parallel), my group stopped me and said that they wanted to do everything one step at a time, to ensure that nothing would go wrong. Inside I knew that nothing would go wrong - because what I wanted to do had to be done anyway, and the step they were working on wouldn't have to be completed in order to continue anyway. I felt so useless just sitting there doing nothing, especially when there were plenty of things that I could have done to help the project move along at a faster pace, since the due date was fast approaching.
The second time I went to work on the project was when I was working on it alone, for the most part. It was already pretty well into the evening when I started working, so my other group members were already tired and didn't want to work - which worked out for me since I got to work at my own pace, and pretty much got to finally take control and do more hands-on work. I had a good time working with the machinery and then sanding down the wooden pieces. Although I was a bit frustrated that I was the only one who seemed to really care about the project enough to go back and work on it again, I still had a good time working at the shop because of some of my classmates that God blessed me with. They helped me out with anything that I needed help with, joked around with me so that I wouldn't think about being angry or frustrated, and they really did help to turn my day around. Although they left before I did, I was still feeling good and was just slightly worried about the other assignment that I had to finish for tomorrow.
Which is a funny thing, because I was kind of annoyed by the fact that there were no free computers to do my assignment on at the computer lab in the building that I was in, so I had to walk to another building to find a room with free computers that had the software I needed to use. Then I bumped into one of my friends from my fellowship and just seeing another familiar face made me happy and it really reminded me of how much God cared about me - that He would give me friends to comfort me while I'm frustrated, to keep me company and to give me motivation to finish my other assignment. Just seeing my friends when I'm not feeling the best really does give me a mental boost and makes me happy since I got to see them and then I don't feel so bad anymore.
It gets even better. I spent a very long time trying to figure out how to do my assignment that's due tomorrow. I had a hard time keeping up during the previous lecture, so I wasn't really really prepared to do the assignment. Surprisingly, I was able to maintain focus and my brain was able to quickly think of other solutions or substitutions that would still get me to the final product (finished assignment). Again, God showed me just how perfect His timing was - not just bumping into friends but just as I finally figured out and completed my assignment, the lights in the lab room flickered on and off once, and the janitor declared that it was closing time. Awed by the awesomeness of God's timing, I quickly printed out my assignment and packed up to go. As I was getting ready to leave the lab, this song started to play from my phone (I was listening to my phone on shuffle while working):
http://youtu.be/a3CZIoJZ56Y - "Have You Ever" by Shawn McDonald.
I was so glad that I had gotten a lot of work done on my project, and also finished my assignment that I struggled with for so long. I was happy that my classmates were there with me when I was working on my project, and that I got to see my friend from fellowship and also another friend that lives in my building but I hadn't seen in a very long time. God never fails to show me how deep His love is for me - there is no bottom to it. Like the song sings, "I have tasted of a love so wide, that it stops all my time. I have tasted of a love so deep, that it blows my mind." God is so good to me, so good, to someone who is so unworthy of love, someone who makes so many mistakes, that I just can't help but to love Him back and smile.
Here are the lyrics to Have You Ever; I hope it means as much to you as it does to me!
Have you ever wanted to be someone else
Have you ever wanted just to be someone
Have you ever wanted to reach your dreams
Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems
Chorus:
I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind
Have you ever wanted to reach up and touch the sky
Have you ever wanted to pack it up and say good-bye
Have you ever wanted someone to care
Have you ever wanted someone to be there
He is sweet, He is sweet
What you're looking for
Is my sweet, sweet Jesus
What you're looking for
Is my sweet Lord
- Shawn McDonald
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