A Lesson in Love

There are a few things to my morning routine; brush teeth, change, grab lunch from the fridge, and eat cereal. This morning, I went to the kitchen to realize that my lunch was on the counter. I had left it there last night by accident - I was supposed to have put it in the fridge to keep the meat from going bad. However, I remember placing my packed lunch on top of a stack of two larger containers that contained the leftover from the night's meal. The containers were gone from the counter, so they were either in the fridge or somebody came home late and ate their contents. I was a little sad to see this - although it was totally my fault for not remembering to put it in the fridge before going to sleep at night, it would have been nice if someone saw it and put it away for me. It's not like I always forget - it was just something that I had overlooked.

Perhaps I have been too spoiled with my past roommates. Perhaps it is because of the mentality that it is fair for me to treat others how they treat me - and I put their food away when they forget, so they should do the same for me. I know this sounds like a really small petty little thing to be upset over, but it is the small things that make a big difference sometimes. It's not about the food - it's about what it means about you and those around you. To me, it seemed like whoever put away the leftovers deliberately left my food on the counter to go bad. If it was together, and I always pack my lunch in the same container, and it's common knowledge that we keep our lunches in the fridge - then why not just help a friend out and put it away? 

So should I expect this? I guess not. So why am I upset that it didn't happen? Because it feels like an attack in some way, or that they don't reciprocate the care that I have for them. Maybe I'm just thinking too hard, but I was really upset at this. It might have also been a bit worse because the person who was supposed to buy groceries this week (we take turns) didn't get anything yet, and I had run out of soy milk (I'm lactose) to eat with my cereal. Also, there was also no bread, so I couldn't eat breakfast. I ended up just packing a bunch of nuts to eat at work.

Anyway, on my way to work, I was just thinking about whether or not I should be feeling upset and trying to figure out why I felt upset. Then I started thinking about how if they were going to play the "well it's your responsibility, not mine" game, then I should do the same too. I will not remind them when they forget something. I will not help them out if I see something that they may potentially need help with. I will just do what I need to do and just look out for myself. But that didn't sit right with me either. I thought about it some more to see why that didn't sit right. Then I got it. Jesus didn't tell us to treat others they way they treat us. He told us to "love your neighbour as yourself" (Mark 12:31). And so, I have been doing it wrong again. It seems like every time I think that I "know everything" about what's fair and whatnot I am corrected. No, loving someone doesn't mean that I only give what I take, or that I should be mean to someone who was mean to me.

It hurts to love another human being. It's not fair, and sometimes it's tempting to withhold it from someone who has hurt us so that they can feel how we felt. That's what makes love so powerful - because there is a sacrifice. Love is not really love if it is convenient. Love is not really love if it is easy. Love is difficult. Love really takes an effort. So I realized that my whole life, I've still been following the rules of society. I've been treating other people the way they treat me. But that is not how Jesus wants me to live. Loving someone and always putting in the effort to show them that love is what sets us apart from society. Choosing to love when it is difficult, when it is not reciprocated, or even when it is rejected. When you can still love the people who want to kill you, that is really powerful.

So I was upset that my lunch had gone to waste (the meat probably went bad) and that I would starve until dinner time (since I didn't have breakfast either). I was frustrated at myself for not seeing how unloving my thoughts were, and really did not want to love. I checked my email when I got to my office and I saw that there would be a free lunch today for the people that attended this info session that I had signed up for. Then I was once again, shown how deeply my Father loves me - that even though I struggled to learn that lesson of love, even though that I really did not want to love the person who saw my lunch and didn't put it away for me, God still loves me. He loves me enough to show me that He will provide. So after God showed me His love, how can I respond if not in love to those around me?