You have led me, to the sadness, I have carried this pain.
On a back bruised, nearly broken, I'm crying out to You...
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy.
When death, like a gypsy,comes to steal what I love, I will still look to the Heavens, I will still seek Your face.
But I fear You aren't listening, because there are no words.
Just the stillness, and the hunger, for a faith that assures.
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy.
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy.
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia...
While we wait, for a rescue, with our eyes tightly shut, face to the ground, using our hands, to cover the fatal cut.
And though the pain is an ocean, tossing us, around, around, around,
You have calmed greater waters, and higher mountains have come down.
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy
Valley Song - Jars of Clay
This song has been stuck in my head for most of this past week. I've posted a link to it before; in another post here. I have been studying every day, every waking moment of my life that I am not eating or walking to campus. I have four final exams coming up this week starting tomorrow, and I am only hopefully prepared for the one tomorrow. I'm maybe 60% ready for the one on Tuesday, and then Thursday and Friday I'm not even sure. Everything look so uncertain right now. I already gave up hope on being able to make my exchange program as it requires me to keep a certain grade average. I can only hope to pass right now. I am looking into this week and I can already feel the pain.
If I could go back and restart the term, this is what I would have done:
1. Gone to all my lectures.
2. Paid attention in all my lectures.
3. Only took notes to jog my memory, but the main focus is on listening and understanding concepts.
4. Kept up with all the assigned problems, asked TAs for help.
I can only keep this in mind for next term. But in reality, I don't even know if doing that stuff was possible (maybe just the first three). I know that there are other things that are more important than school, but once I sent in the application for exchange and decided that I wanted to go, things got more difficult - expectations got higher, and I guess I just couldn't handle it.
On top of that, I think I really took on too much this term. Being "busy" isn't actually a good thing. Satan uses "business" to distract us from God. For myself, I have experienced a withdrawal from fellowship and my community this term. By not being part of a small group and always studying, I missed out. By volunteering and always having someplace to go after another; obligation after obligation (that I imposed on myself), I had no time for others. I had no time for building my relationships with people that I love and care about. By constantly being occupied, there was no time for God. The only time I had was Sunday mornings and Thursday nights when I had praise night. But that's not enough. It's not enough to only think about God twice a week when really, I should be focusing on Him all the time.
On a back bruised, nearly broken, I'm crying out to You...
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy.
When death, like a gypsy,comes to steal what I love, I will still look to the Heavens, I will still seek Your face.
But I fear You aren't listening, because there are no words.
Just the stillness, and the hunger, for a faith that assures.
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy.
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy.
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia...
While we wait, for a rescue, with our eyes tightly shut, face to the ground, using our hands, to cover the fatal cut.
And though the pain is an ocean, tossing us, around, around, around,
You have calmed greater waters, and higher mountains have come down.
I will sing of Your Mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow, to rivers of joy
Valley Song - Jars of Clay
This song has been stuck in my head for most of this past week. I've posted a link to it before; in another post here. I have been studying every day, every waking moment of my life that I am not eating or walking to campus. I have four final exams coming up this week starting tomorrow, and I am only hopefully prepared for the one tomorrow. I'm maybe 60% ready for the one on Tuesday, and then Thursday and Friday I'm not even sure. Everything look so uncertain right now. I already gave up hope on being able to make my exchange program as it requires me to keep a certain grade average. I can only hope to pass right now. I am looking into this week and I can already feel the pain.
If I could go back and restart the term, this is what I would have done:
1. Gone to all my lectures.
2. Paid attention in all my lectures.
3. Only took notes to jog my memory, but the main focus is on listening and understanding concepts.
4. Kept up with all the assigned problems, asked TAs for help.
I can only keep this in mind for next term. But in reality, I don't even know if doing that stuff was possible (maybe just the first three). I know that there are other things that are more important than school, but once I sent in the application for exchange and decided that I wanted to go, things got more difficult - expectations got higher, and I guess I just couldn't handle it.
On top of that, I think I really took on too much this term. Being "busy" isn't actually a good thing. Satan uses "business" to distract us from God. For myself, I have experienced a withdrawal from fellowship and my community this term. By not being part of a small group and always studying, I missed out. By volunteering and always having someplace to go after another; obligation after obligation (that I imposed on myself), I had no time for others. I had no time for building my relationships with people that I love and care about. By constantly being occupied, there was no time for God. The only time I had was Sunday mornings and Thursday nights when I had praise night. But that's not enough. It's not enough to only think about God twice a week when really, I should be focusing on Him all the time.
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