Genuinity, Let's Face It.

I have not been posting for a a long while.

There are many things that I want to post about but have been avoiding.

I avoid because I don't want to think about it.

I don't want to think about it because deep down I know that I'll have to change.

That I'll have to do something about what I write about.

Because I can't think something through, write it out, and not do.

I need to sleep. I need to figure things out and get myself together, especially before final exams start.

Main issue is about genuinity. I feel like I can't do it. I don't know what's right, or how to  make it that way. I feel distant, removed. Time is not an issue. I have lots of time. I neglect sleep to do nothing. I make time and give myself space to think about things but I don't think. I just squander and lose sleep. I am not being productive. I know some of my thoughts are wrong (in the way I feel about some people) and I am being disobedient in not wanting to change and fix it. I avoid deep conversations with God because I know He will tell me I need to work on myself. But what cause is this helping? None. So come back. Slap some sense into myself..


I have finished reading Hosea. I started reading Habakkuk. I have not been posting.

When I'm Old

This weekend was really beautiful. It was like spring came to visit and it was awesome. I took a walk with my friend around the city and we passed by some old peoples homes. We started thinking about our futures, what it would be like to be so old. It really made me think of how I want to be like when I grow old - if I get to live that old.

I want to be someone who
is worn and torn
has seen and done
knows that I have given
all I had to live
and still be energized
for what comes after death


Reading Hosea 6 today.

Deep Cracks

I have a mild case of eczema on my hands. It's usually where the joints are on my fingers. I have a really bad case of it on one of my hands and it started to bleed today. It wasn't this bad before. I've been putting more of my special eczema cream on it, but it doesn't seem to be enough. I guess I should use my stronger, medicated cream.

I think it's gotten worse because of stress as well as things that I like to do. A lot of things that I enjoy doing worsen my skin condition and this makes me sad.

Here are some things I like to do and why they aren't good for my skin:

- Cooking --> constant washing and soaping my hands while washing ingredients and dishes, as well as marinating meat, the salt and acid sting my hands

- Soldering --> this is mostly just on work terms, as the soldering iron is hot and makes the air around it very dry, it makes my skin less flexible

- Swimming --> sometimes the chlorine in the pool stings my hands and they get really dry after

- any craft work with rough materials (machine shop work, carrying things)


I think a few things I should do to help myself get better include:
- drinking more fluids
- putting more cream on it
- eating better
- wear gloves when doing dishes/cleaning

Hohum..... to be continued.....  it's so late. haha

Hosea 4 today.

The Meat Secret

So I have an obsession with marinating meat. I love the smell of the mixture of spices, herbs, and oil. I love looking around my kitchen cupboards to find just the right spices to add, and the perfect liquid seasonings. I absolutely believe that to make something taste good, you have to put your heart into it. You have to rub the meat with tender care and imagine the taste of everything you're mixing together. Will it taste good? Do they go together? Is there anything that would clash or bring out the flavours even more?

Anyway, so today I decided to try marinating ribs for tomorrow. This is my first time making pork, let alone ribs, in a really long time. I usually make chicken or beef, since they're really easy to cook and season. So while I was scrounging around my kitchen wondering what to season my ribs with, I wondered to myself how I usually figure out what to put in it. I found this website that really helped me figure that out.

So when you marinate meat, you basically need three key types of ingredients:
1) some sort of acidic liquid (this is usually lemon, vinegar, beer) - this is good to make the meat really soft and tender, so that it can just fall off the bone, or be easier to chew
2) herbs and spices - to flavour and season the meat
3) oil - to make it juicy! keeps the moisture in the meat and also keeps the spices and herbs attached to the meat

So now the secret's out! Well sort of...

1) I usually use both lemon and white vinegar for chicken, black vinegar for beef, and beer for pork.
2) All meat: teriyaki sauce, honey, cooking wine, chicken: spices depend on what flavours I want (so jerk, cajun, cayenne pepper, white pepper, italian, but not all together), beef is usually just black pepper or sometimes I cheat and use pre-made korean beef seasoning, and worchester sauce, pork: black pepper, and I cheat with pre-made bbq sauce for ribs, regular pork chops I just add some ketchup, worchester sauce, and sugar (that's also the recipe for sweet and sour pork). For me, I usually try not to use salt, as the herbs and spices already give it a lot of flavour, and especially the pre-made sauces, they usually already have salt in them. Less salt helps you to taste the meat for what it really is! Also healthier!
3) olive oil is the way to go!

Remember to marinate with love! Rub rub rub! That is the key! For chicken, make sure to get the seasoning under the skin! Marinate over night, or if you're in a rush, 30 minutes will do with more acid and less oil. If you're not sure how much of each ingredient you want to add, just put enough to cover the surface of the meat, and then add according to taste preferences (sweet, sour, spicy). Since you can't taste test the marinade after it has touched the raw meat, just smell it. Does the marinated meat smell good? Does it smell appetizing? Can you imagine the flavours and picture yourself eating it?

yum yum yum I wish you happy marinating!



Been reading Hosea these days! Sorry for the lack of posting!