Time is money. Money is spent, traded in for goods in return. Most of the time, these things are tangible. Some, may not be so tangible; gaining access to a concert, a show, for a wish from the wishing well, or education. Today, I lost money. It wasn't spent on anything tangible, or not tangible. It wasn't spent at all. It was lost.
I was having a great day; the weather was nice, I went to church, had a good lunch, and caught up with a friend. Then, I went to the mall, and found some great deals and purchased a few things. I was having a good time until I realized in cold sweat that I had forgotten to take my cash back at the grocery store. I ran back hoping that it might still be there, under the scanner in the self-checkout machine. It was gone. I had forgotten to take it earlier as the cash return slot was located beneath the scanner, out of my line of sight (and, I might add - this was poorly designed and it seems like there was a lack of human factors applied there) . I left the store thinking about which store to enter next, what kinds of things I wanted to check out, and how I might get home afterwards. I did not think about the money that I had left sitting behind at all.
It took me about an hour to realize what had happened. I was taking out my wallet to prepare to pay for my next purchase when I realized that it was empty of cash. All that was left were my receipts, and some cards. I talked with the attendant at the self-checkout machines and left her my contact information, although I was pretty sure that no one would return cold, hard cash. I was angry, frustrated, and bitter.
I was also supposed to meet my friend at a certain time, and I had missed the bus that would've taken me to meet my friend on time through this whole commotion . So I texted my friend saying that I would be late and that I had just lost $40.
$40. Forty dollars. That's about 3-4 hours of work in Canada, at minimum wage. An almost full tank of gas. A week or two's worth of groceries. Two month's worth of electricity (for me). Four movie tickets on a regular-priced, non-3D night. You get the point. It's a lot of money. That's what was running through my mind until my friend put things a different way.
I was having a great day; the weather was nice, I went to church, had a good lunch, and caught up with a friend. Then, I went to the mall, and found some great deals and purchased a few things. I was having a good time until I realized in cold sweat that I had forgotten to take my cash back at the grocery store. I ran back hoping that it might still be there, under the scanner in the self-checkout machine. It was gone. I had forgotten to take it earlier as the cash return slot was located beneath the scanner, out of my line of sight (and, I might add - this was poorly designed and it seems like there was a lack of human factors applied there) . I left the store thinking about which store to enter next, what kinds of things I wanted to check out, and how I might get home afterwards. I did not think about the money that I had left sitting behind at all.
It took me about an hour to realize what had happened. I was taking out my wallet to prepare to pay for my next purchase when I realized that it was empty of cash. All that was left were my receipts, and some cards. I talked with the attendant at the self-checkout machines and left her my contact information, although I was pretty sure that no one would return cold, hard cash. I was angry, frustrated, and bitter.
I was also supposed to meet my friend at a certain time, and I had missed the bus that would've taken me to meet my friend on time through this whole commotion . So I texted my friend saying that I would be late and that I had just lost $40.
$40. Forty dollars. That's about 3-4 hours of work in Canada, at minimum wage. An almost full tank of gas. A week or two's worth of groceries. Two month's worth of electricity (for me). Four movie tickets on a regular-priced, non-3D night. You get the point. It's a lot of money. That's what was running through my mind until my friend put things a different way.
"Just think of it as charity"
My response was an angry one. A response made out of pure bitterness over my own actions. Frustration that I wanted to remove by taking the blame out on someone else. The someone who took my money. The someone who could have seen me leaving the store, leaving the cash behind, waiting for their chance to grab it. The someone who, perhaps, thought the machine accidentally gave them too much money and thought that it was the greatest thing that happened. The someone who didn't think that it was necessary to report it to the attendant. I was angry. I was bitter. I wanted my money back. I had slipped - forgotten to do something. The whole thing started with me. I was the stupid one. But the someone should have reported it!
"God knows"
Yes. He does. I didn't really see this, or read too much into what my friend was trying to say until this:
"they'll be judged on how they respond"
Truer words have never been said. Wow. Reading this completely changed my take on the whole situation. I thought about God. I thought about what my friend said earlier - "God knows". Wow, that is a truly powerful and freeing thing. To know that God is present, to know that God cares that I lost my money, to know that God loves me enough to show me through my friend, is the most joyful feeling I have ever felt this whole term.
My eyes watered when I soaked in everything that was happening. God was working in my life, through my friend's empathy for me and through my friend's wise words. I am so blessed that God has given me such a good friend. He used our relationship to show me that I was wrong in the way that I felt about the person who took my money. He was so gentle, so loving and so kind. He met me where I was - in my anger and frustration, and flipped the switch in me. He made me stop hating myself for being so forgetful and clueless. He took all that was inside me at that moment, all the bad things, and replaced it with joy. Joy in knowing that God will take matters into His own hands. Joy in knowing that God will deal with whoever took my money. Joy in knowing that God loves me even through all those harsh negative feelings I had. Joy in knowing that I was forgiven for my sinful thoughts. Joy in knowing that my friend cared about me and that God is in control of my life. Always. I had joy. I didn't care anymore what happened to my $40. Everything that I had experienced suddenly seemed worth it. I no longer thought about what I could have done with that money. Instead, I felt that God had really made good use of that money. And then, I felt peace.
http://youtu.be/aYyQHRtkU_g - We Will Run, Gungor
Also, I read Proverbs 3 today. =)
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